


It's A Side Effect Of The Whiskey

by Gingerfloss, mystmoon



Category: Iron Man (Comic), Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Multi, POV First Person, Pre-Movie, god dammit tony, making Tony jealous is fun, theres a busted song that really does fit this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-26
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2017-11-26 22:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/655109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gingerfloss/pseuds/Gingerfloss, https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystmoon/pseuds/mystmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Starks life has better things to contain, like science and experiments, sports cars and women and not running his company and a new brand of whiskey than wondering about his PA and what she gets up to. But Pepper Potts has fallen for someone, and its not him, and its driving him mad. (PRE-IM/IM2/Avengers. First Person P.O.V)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mystmoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystmoon/gifts).



Lets just get this straight before we start. I Anthony Stark, do not give a fuck what my PA does with her life outside of the office, especially not what she does with her love life.

Why would I?

Its never been something I care about, I'm not allowed to, even when I get curious. The devil in Prada heels would unleash her powers on me if she even suspected I was wondering about it. And as much as I pretend I'm not bothered by her, she can be really quite scary. Its probably why she still has her job.

Anyway, My life has better things to contain, like science and experiments and not running my own company and a very nice new brand of whiskey I've discovered.

That's something I learnt within the first week of working in the same building as Pepper Potts, that you just don't ask her about relationships unless you want your head biting off, and I don't mean the one on your shoulders. Along with the fact she doesn't drink and doesn't smoke and will look at you like she's going to throw something heavy at you if you suggest it.

She's always completely confused me to be honest, because no matter what, she'd always at work on time, done up to the nines and giving me the unimpressed look of the day (she's got one for every day of the week, its usually how I work out which day I'm supposed to be on) before scolding me for whatever I've done now, because according to Virginia Potts everything is my fault. Don't tell her but quite a lot of the time it is, but who doesn't enjoy an argument over breakfast?

When I get breakfast. Which I don't seem to be getting yet! Next time I'm bored I'm making me a breakfast robot, even though DUM-E can do toast it doesn't mean I can eat it.

I swear that woman would still be at work even if there was suddenly an apocalypse and everything collapsed and died and turned into zombies, I'd still get a grumpy red-head dragging the covers off me at 8:05am. According to her it's never 8:00am because she'd always hoping I might possibly have gotten my own arse out of bed before she manages the five minute walk up the stairs. I never do, probably never will do because it's quite nice just to see her leaning over me every morning.

The only time it doesn't work is Shark week (also known as Pepper-Potts-is-on-her-period-she's-more-dangerous-then-normal-don't-go-near-if-you-want-to-keep-your-job-and-your-balls-week) because those are the mornings when she just pours cold water over my head and stands there glaring at me until I get my soggy butt out of bed.

But this morning is weird, which is probably why I'm talking to you about it. And someone said talking to yourself was useful psychology nonsense or rubbish or something. I might have to buy a diary if I keep this up.

She's not here, I'm 8:34am and Tony Stark is still in bed with last night's blonde trash on his arm. Yeah I call them trash, she started using it and its much easier than attempting to remember their names and I may have accidently called her Pepper last night whilst we were getting it on, and its not the first time I've done that to someone. Not my fault the silly girl looks so much like her, just not as pretty or ginger, and I can't play dot to dot with the freckles up her right arm in a business meeting with someone from china. Pep's make a slightly sideways bird thing, but this woman has had her blemishes surgically removed I'm certain of it.

And she's got breast implants. Seriously? It felt more like playing with lumps of jell-o that didn't want to be squished. I bet she looked beautiful without them, now she just looks like she'd going to fall flat on her face every time she walks.

What is it with women and plastic surgery? Some of the girls I've run into lately have been that filled with face glue I don't even get a smile out of them. What's the point of something that doesn't even give you a proper expression when you're deep between its legs? I've always prided myself on making a woman scream, and when they're filled with botox they pull the same expression at me that they do when they're having a shit!

I think its one of the many things I find so entertaining about my PA, her expressions, especially her smile. Which I think I've only earned three times in the past god knows how many years, the latest one being when I finished all my paperwork without being asked or threatened. Pepper looked so delighted I thought she might burst. I can't remember the last time she'd actually been able to leave the office at 5pm on a Friday night.

I didn't particularly want her to leave, call me childish but I'm no good at entertaining myself, it's part of why I spend so much time out doing things or playing with the bots in the lab, means I've got someone to keep me company. Its probably part of the reason why I have JARVIS, so I've never completely on my own.

But anyway, Pepper's still not here, Its 8:39am and I've still got the trash on my arm…. Which probably means I have to get rid of it?

I'm not even quite sure how to do it. What do I do with it?

…

Sneaking out of bed was harder than I thought, I woke it up. But I've finally sent her packing with a fake phone number and assorted sympathies for the fact her hips are so sore.

I don't really care, I'm more bothered that I've actually dragged my own ass to the office, and that I've dressed myself and everything else. I'm sat in my office looking at my paperwork! I'm about to do it. Actually sign my name on something that I've read six times over.

Fucks sake Pepper, where are you.

I'm actually starting to worry about her, its well over an hour past her usual turning up in my room time and still no sign. I'm not going to call her, that's just not my style. It'll sound like I'm desperate then.

If she wants the day off work it doesn't bother me, I'll just not pay her.

But the sound of heels on the tiles has just (finally) stopped me feeling sick, thank god, because I know those sounds all too well. That's the sound of my PA running down the corridor, hopefully with my coffee in one hand and my breakfast in the other.

"Mr Stark?" The door slides open and she's standing there, panting a little and her hairs a mess, it look like a birds nest all piled on top of her head. You wouldn't think I'd notice exactly what her hair and her dress and her make-up looks like every day, but I do. And today she looks like a mess and like she's in a complete daydream.

"Yes, Miss Potts?" My voice is sharper than usual and I'm not looking up at her, I don't like this, Pepper smells wrong, she looks wrong and her lips are ever so slightly swollen. She puts what she's brought me on the table and steps back. I'm still not doing to look at her.

"I brought the usual order, and cancelled this morning's meeting. It seems our client no longer needs to meet with you as we settled the business deal over the phone." She pauses, obviously waiting for my response but she's not getting one: "Our next meeting will be in three weeks when we've sorted the first or-"

"You're late." I point out bluntly, unable to keep it in any longer.

"I know" She's shifted awkwardly, cocking one leg slightly as she does, Pepper always does that when she's worried about something.

"Why?" I'm not going to ask anything else now am i?

"Because I am." Pepper retorts grumpily, turning away from me.

"That's not a reason Pepper…"

"Why do you insist on getting one! I'm late, and I'm going to go and return to work as always and you're going to sit there and be useless as always." Usually by now we're arguing, I'm not listening and she's just getting frustrated, but I can't be bothered right now. Anyway, she gets more amusing the less noticed I take of her and right now she could do to cheer me up somehow, before I march off the lab and get on with what's in my head right now. (quantum physics, I've got something I want to try that came into my mind when I was with that trash.)

Hang on, she's just walked out of here without me even noticing! At least I got my coffee out of her, that's always a good th-

Or not. It's the complete wrong thing. Ew.

Which only means one thing, which is the same thing it always means and I swear she's done it on purpose.

Pepper Potts has slept with someone.

And it wasn't me.


	2. Chapter 2

I've honestly no idea why I even bother with listening in these stupid meetings that woman keeps dragging me to. They're annoying and pointless, and all that seems to happen is I get told off for my inability to behave, or listen to her, or the boring people in the meeting. Pepper's being a tease though; she's smiling the way she does when something good has happened. These so called good things don't ever seem to involve me, just my company and whatever deal she's made this time. I swear that woman could make millions from thin air if she could stick 'Stark Industries' on it. It’s one of the reasons I keep her employed here, she's fantastic at her job.

I think she does a better job running the company than I ever would have done.

Anyway, I think the meeting must be finished cos she's shaking hands with those guys that I was supposed to be listening to far too happily. Hopefully that means another few million in the bank for me and a new pair of shoes for my pepper pot in thanks. Usually she'll buy herself a new pair when she's done something good. A bit like me and cheeseburgers.

I've bought her a few pairs, one of which was for her 27th birthday and I actually managed to buy those myself! She didn't have to pretend. Pepper just doesn't know that I had to go through about 50 different websites before I found the right pair. And even then I didn't really think I'd got it right. I'd just caught her glancing at what the other business women around me were wearing, and the girls I took home with me.

I don't forget her birthday cos I actually forget it, I forget it so I don’t have to attempt to buy her a present. I'm awful at presents. She buys everyone else's presents for me, so that I don't get it completely wrong.

But back to my PA and what she's got on her feet. After I bought her a pair of lob...reboots...lo-something or other tons, also known as stupidly high shoes with a stupid name, she didn't take them off her feet.

I didn't know just how much she'd like them... I've never seen her smile quite that much at me or blush that hard. I think the first thing she did was try to give me them back, before I had to make her sit down and kneel in front of her, steal the cheap heels she'd obviously bought in Target and strap the new ones onto her feet. From down there I had the most fantastic view of her. I could have easily spent the time looking up her skirt and admiring her panties, like I would with any other woman, but it didn't feel quite right with my pepper pot. I spent most of the time gazing up at her expression and marvelling at her feet, they were so soft and perfectly formed. And her toenails had been painted pink by someone. They were the same shade as her cheeks, a light dusky pink that showed off her freckles and her lip gloss.

Somehow everything fell silent between us, like in those stupid romantic films and books that people keep sending me to read for some reason.

It was the first moment I've ever wanted to kiss anyone that badly. If she'd been any other girl I would have just reached up and grabbed her. But it wasn't that easy.

So I just ignored the moment altogether.

Only she could have had me kneeling in front of her willingly, when really she should have been the one on her knees for me. But yeah, anyway, Pep's new shoes. So once I'd got them on her feet I had to make her stand up...

And I've never forgotten just how thrilled she looked before throwing her arms around me and holding me tight. I was that surprised by her actions that I didn't even make a pass at her, just tried not to fall over before holding her close in return.

She thanked me and disappeared, still about the same colour as a strawberry with blush and delight.

I don't get why she was so delighted... They were just shoes? And they didn't really cost that much at all; couldn't she have bought herself a pair?

But anyway, like I was saying, after I bought those she didn't seem to take them off. Apparently black stilettos go with everything. I've just gotten used to her wearing them and me grinning every time I notice her feet,

But today she's not wearing them

What?

I've seen her wearing them with that dress before so it’s nothing to do with what she's wearing! And the ones she has got strapped to her feet are stupid if you ask me. They're much higher than the ones that I gave her, I can tell cos she's almost hitting her head on the sculpture thing that on the celling, apparently it's modern art but it think it looks like a load of metal on wires.

Okay, shut up Tony. Pepper's wearing different shoes, so what? What’s annoying you so much about it?

I don't really know. But I don't like it,

She hasn't been late to work again since that one incident at the start of the month, but the stupid hair-do seems to have stayed. It’s in some sort of bun on top of her head; I'm used to seeing my girl with it loose around her face or tied up in a ponytail so I can slip pencils in it on the way past.

New shoes, new hair and it's frustrating me. If I didn't know better I'd think she was having a mid-life crisis. But I don't think Pepper's old enough for that... is she?

"Mr Stark, are you going to move from that position or are you planning on spending the entire day staring at the floor?" She's caught me, obviously those important people wondered away a long time ago. Hands on hips and the 'Thursday' look that I was treated to this morning.

"I'm staring at your feet." I point out to her grumpily, running my gaze up her legs just to annoy her.

"They're exactly the same as they were yesterday Mr Stark."

"No they're not." I retort, darting my gaze up to her face: "You're wearing new shoes."

"Nice of you to notice, Mr Stark, but we just signed a multimillion-"

"What happened to the ones I bought you?" I cut across her before she can change the subject and distract me by giving me something else to think about: "You've been wearing them for almost a year."

Pepper looks like a mix between surprised and thrilled that I've noticed something so pointless about her: "A-am I not allowed to wear anything else?" She asks sharply, giving me a dirty look that lacks the usual fire.

"Never said that!" I huff defensively, getting to my feet to follow her out of the room anyway, if I want an answer to her curiosity I'm better off just doing what I'm told to do: "Just asking."

The strawberry blonde stopped, turning back to glance at me in annoyance: "Unless you suddenly decide to make it company policy that you have the right to tell me what I can and can't wear to work, I'll wear what I like."

I threw both hands up in mock surrender, following her down and onto the steps of the building, trying not to look at her again: "I was only asking! I didn't think you bought stuff for yourself like that. They're like the ones I bought you."

"Same designer." She explained, still walking just in front of me with a slight smile pulling at her lips: "But no, I didn't buy them. He did."

Her words made me stop in surprise and horror, looking at her in complete amazement. Pepper didn't seem to have noticed anything as she carried on walking across the car park, going to join Happy who'd been waiting for us the whole time.

He? Who the hell was this he?! Pepper didn't just have random men in her life that bought her thousands of dollars worth of shoes for no apparent reason unless...

Unless...

Pepper's 'He' was her boyfriend?!


	3. Chapter 3

I think I need the whiskey, I think it might be love...

I've just had post, and it's addressed to my PA instead of me. I haven't seen her since she threw ice cold water over my head this morning. It’s some massive box from some company I’ve never heard of. Begins with a 'H'. In a capital letters of course so they think they're important.

But it’s brilliant to be woken up thinking you're in the Arctic. It was fucking freezing too!

Anyway. She's not taken those awful creations off her feet for the past week. I'm still annoyed with her about it, but I'm not going to say anything. It's Friday anyway, which usually means that I have a gala or a party or something awesome to go and do that isn't work. (Not that I do work)

This Friday night is reasonably the same. I have some stupid event to attend and the company will probably win the awards it's up for and then I'll have to make a speech about how thrilled we are......blah....blah...fucking blah and then get very drunk on whiskey, find myself a sexy woman or two to take home with me and screw till the morning light.

But I don't get Friday night without having the rest of the day first. Yay.

This is another day of meetings and boredom and following Pepper about like a well-trained dog until she gets annoyed and tells me to go away and let her be the responsible one. I think my record for making her that annoyed is about ten minutes. I just wasn't built for meetings, especially not with people I find boring about boring things. If I could have meetings about mechanics and designs and interesting things then I would go! I go to every single meeting with the R&D department here at the company but apparently that doesn't count for anything in Virginia Potts’ head.

Where was I? Um...whatever it was obviously wasn't that important.

My mind is currently running away with itself today, I was up half the night in the lab with DUM-E. I taught the bot how to make smoothies, took a lot of work but now he can make me something other than toast for breakfast. Might even taste of something that’s not machine oil, he keeps putting it on the toast. Next time he does that I'll feed it to Pepper.

So, today I’m not planning on doing my work as always and teasing her until she makes me go away. I need the day to get ready for this evening. She's just marched in here, horrible heels and wearing a dress that’s showing off her legs, Pep really does have the best legs in the business. And she's daydreaming again. Brilliant.

I don't like this 'boyfriend' she has. He's eating her IQ points slowly. One day she'll come in here and have the same IQ score as one of those stupid blonde things I drag home on a night.

“Yo Potts, You in here for a reason or come to admire this sex god?” I ask her, forcing her to pay some attention to where she's walked into, leaning back in my chair and spreading my legs with a smirk.

“You're late.” her attention is back on me in seconds flat, her lips pulled into a scowl as she gazes at me. Luckily for me, her gaze does wonder down to my crotch, but that lasts even less time than the time it took for me to see her scowl again: “We have somewhere to be.” And Pepper's turned to leave before she gets distracted by what’s between my legs again.

I'm going to milk this, watching her leave, and watching her ass wriggle, which it does and I’m not going to tell her because I enjoy the sight. Before something suddenly comes back into my mind to whack me around the back of the head: “I have post for you.”

Pepper stops the doorway, looking around at me curiously: “You do?” Obviously it’s got her attention. Was she waiting for this or something? Forcing myself to my feet I pull the box out from behind me, shoving it on the desk between us.

Her expression changes when she notices it, I’ve never seen that look before. And it’s adorable, like someone's given a kitten its first bowl of cream. Pepper crosses the room again with a smile that completely replaces the scowl and there's a sudden spring in her step.

“It that from you?” There's an almost hopeful tone in her voice as she reaches for the box, pulling it closer as I relax back in my reclining chair. Her gaze runs over it, and I don't quite know why I like watching her eyes so very much. They're the most fantastic shade of blue-green and she's wearing her glasses. As much as I know my strawberry blonde hates her glasses and the tinnitus that keeps giving her headache they're just part of what makes her....Well, her. Most girls aren't any interest at all further than what's between their legs and what colour their hair is, but I could seriously write a book about all the things that make my pepper-pot special.

“Maybe?” I can't help but tease her a little as she pulls at the tag on the box, flipping it over in her hands from the side that's displaying the weird company logo that I can't recognise or know the name of.

It’s that moment that she stops, and I can watch the blush filling her cheeks. It spreads from the spot each side of her nose, across her cheek and ignites each one of her freckles so they're all glowing. It runs all the way along to her ears. Seems the more she focuses on the words on the label the darker her blush becomes.

Most normal men would have taken that as a cue to leave, but I'm Tony Stark, so the word normal never reached my ears, or my brain, or any part of me particularly.

“Who’s it from?” I can't help but ask, grabbing for the label but Pepper keeps it out of my grasp, shifting the box closer and reaching for the scissors from the pot of random crap on my desk.

She's not taking any notice, obviously that parcel must be important or just interesting. But I’m still not going to go away, I'm watching this. Running the scissors through the tape she slit it open, tearing back the packing and making short work of the cardboard box.

I'm glad I wasn't that box.

Pepper smiles as she pulls free a massive bunch of red roses. And I don't mean a dozen, I mean about three with strange green leaf things mixed in and wrapped in ribbons and it’s stupid.  
Stupid like the expression she's pulling as she pulls them all into her arms, hugging them to her chest as she buries her face into them.

I can't see Pepper for the flowers, but she's giggling. It’s the sweetest noise, but it’s not FAIR! Who's making her make this noise?! And it's not me.

“Who are those from?” I ask haughtily, leaning back grumpily in the chair and crossing my arms over my chest.

She gives a very long look as she peeks up at me from the bouquet: “My boyfriend!” she points out, not putting the bunch down.  
“He bought you flowers? Seriously?” I ask, pretending not to care, or have noticed her reaction to the horrible things, they're starting to make my office smell weird. It’s like she'd open a box of poison or something.

I never thought I’d get annoyed at a load of plant heads.

“Isn't that a bit of a cop out?” I carry on; leaning forwards slightly to glare at the murdered red blobs she was still holding: “All women want flowers, its dull. A real man would have made an effort.”

“A real man?!” She scoffs, giving me a sideways look from over them: “Like who? You? Mr Stark, You're too busy being a billionaire playboy genius philanthropist to make a real man.”

And then she's gone, marching off with an armful of roses and a huff. Her words hurt. A lot.

I AM a real man! I Am!

And I'll prove it to her. I can find something better than those stupid dead plants.


	4. Chapter 4

If this is Love I need more Whiskey...a lot more Whiskey.

Who on earth invented Public Transport? It’s a waste, it really is. Everyone pays a fortune for it but it's never actually any good. Usually I wouldn't have even been here. But apparently she thinks it’s a good idea or something. It wasn't MY idea, at all. I don't understand her sometimes I really don't.... Although I wasn't really listening to the reason for this adventure.

Whatever, I can pretend I'm just another civilian for ten minutes, or ten seconds, depends how bored I get of this silly plan. Gives me chance to think. And stare at her. Pepper was late to work this morning. And muttering something about not wanting to give me a reason to be late.

I don't need a reason, I'm me. I do what I want!

Okay, that’s annoying. Seems like Ginger has chosen today of all days to decide to wear trousers. Normally I only see those on shark week or if she's freezing. I don't think the answer is either of those, and she's not even noticed I’m staring yet. Miss Potts has officially the best legs in the business, one of those stupid fashion magazines she reads agreed. I don't normally really look at her legs for this long. Usually she yells at me by now for looking.

But she's not even looking at me.

She seems to have forgotten I exist.

I HATE BEING IGNORED.

“More whiskey, Mr Stark?”

“Yes.” There's a pause as I down it, the liquid burns slightly and it’s cheap but I can pretend it helps with the pain: “Why is it so hard to make women like me?”

“I never thought you'd struggle with making women like you, boss. Most of them fawn over you...” Almost as if to make a point my accomplice glances around the bar behind us both. It’s one of the nicest bars in New York, full of mildly attractive women in skimpy dresses and I know they've noticed me. I'm used to the attention, used to the fuss and the sex that comes after.

“I mean the ones I want to like me, Happy!” I whine, flopping on the bar in front of me with a scowl, pushing the empty scotch glass at the man sat next to me.

Harold Hogan is my chauffeur, bodyguard and someone that shuts up and listens to me whilst I complain about everything in my life and then get laid in the back of the limo whilst he drives me home. I think you could technically count him as my friend too.

Okay, whilst he gets my alcohol I should probably explain why I know this Irish lump, considering he's the complete opposite of anyone I would normally employ. My staff are all beautiful people, or at least the ones I have to look at on a daily basis are.

Years ago, when I out testing my latest (and might I say brilliant but not exactly perfect) race-car in the middle of nowhere I lost control. Which wasn't my fault. And crashed it into a tree.

Yeah. The great Anthony Stark was defeated by a tree. Stop laughing.

But anyway, Happy (I’ll explain that too if you give me a minute.) must have appeared from somewhere because he grabbed out of there and dragged me off before I could end up dead from the massive explosion that destroyed my invention seconds later.

I don't know why, maybe it was my dashingly good looks.

But yeah, he saved my life, wouldn't take the money when I tried to pay him off and is still working for me today. His name is something to do with his boxing career and the fact I have never seen him smile. Ever.

I don't even think it's physically possible for him to have that expression.

Anyway, there you go, Story time by Stark. I should trademark that.

"Here ya go boss." And he's back, armed with whiskey and probably a pistol somewhere about his person as normal.

I take it. Down it. And push the glass back at him without a word.

I think tonight I’ll drown my sorrows and try not to think about where my PA is tonight. Proba-bly in some undeserving wankers bed with her legs in the air.

Pepper probably looks beautiful like that. But that if she's underneath. I've always thought that woman would be more likely to force me down onto my back and straddle me, she likes control and I can't really see that changing much in bed. (I think I've had a drink or two, my mind is filthy when I have too much to drink.)

Most women don't want that from me, they want me to control them and me to make them scream my name, but I’d much rather she was boss. I want to know what she'll do to me. Watch her body move and her expressions.

She always looks exactly the same, that expression never changes, that frown and the way she looks at me.

I want to break her. I want to taste her. I want to kiss her.

And once I've let her top me I’ll grab her and carry her upstairs. I don't care if she's naked. I want that woman over her office desk. Make a mess of the same place that I get dragged into every day for a telling off.

It would be so hot to throw her onto her front and take her from behind, keep tight hold of her hips and make her scream. Push my PA on her knees and take her how nature intended.

I will find that woman’s animal instincts. The part of her that desperately needs my cock deep inside her cunt and ravishing her body until she's begging for more.

We'll wreck the tower the night she gives into what she really wants.

Virginia Potts is the most gorgeous woman I’ve seen and she's the only one that still refuses to get in my bed!

I still need a plan to work out how I prove to that girl I'm a real man.

God I want her.

Another Scotch!

And possibly a trip to the bathroom before anyone looks at my crotch.


	5. Chapter 5

My Headache Is a Side Effect Of The Whiskey. Screw Love.  
I think I drank one thousand too many whiskeys. My head is murder and I have an awful feeling that I've left the trash in my bed again. I don't even remember picking her up. I know I must have done.  
Honestly I'm more surprised I got this piece of trash home last night, most of them don't make it to my bed anymore.  
The woman’s back is facing me as I shuffle a little closer, closing the gap between us. She's naked, her back arches in at the centre, speckled with a light dusting of freckles and slightly more weight on her hips than I would usually have expected. Normally my girls are about the width of my arm.  
It suits her.  
Almost shyly, I run my hand over her back, to the point where her hips start, there's the slightest red mark where she's obviously been wearing those Bridget Jones pants or whatever they're called to keep her stomach flat.  
Means she ain't got any panties on, huh?  
I've only ever met one girl who's ever worn those, and she was the same girl I lost my virginity to, and that was probably the worst sex I’ve ever had. That’s the only time I’ll confess that I was a shit shag, not my normal sex god self.  
And I’ll confess that girl wasn't gorgeous, or skinny, if anything she was fat and much older than me. With saggy breasts and a huge ass.  
Oh eww. I bet this woman is going to be like that too.  
I like my girls skinny and tailored to perfection, high maintenance and the kind of women you don't want to live with. Not the kind that you 'settle for' when you're 42 and still single.  
This woman has grey hairs mixed into the ginger splaying out across the pillow; I can't help but examine it, pulling myself slightly closer. My trash smells like Channel No5 and apricot shampoo.  
There's only one other woman in the world that smells like that, gently pawing at her hair I nuzzle into it, surprised when the scent fills my nostrils. Maybe it was the scent that attracted me to her? Gently I run my hand a little further up over the curve of her side, fingertips gracing her stomach gently.  
I don't normally do this to my trash; usually I just prod them awake or sneak away and let Pepper deal with it.  
Speaking of, where is Pepper? Pausing in my affections I glance over at the clock behind me. It’s like, 11:30am on the 1st of April.  
Stupid PA, She's god knows how many hours late. I bet that wanker she was shagging last night still has her in his arms.  
Running my fingers up a little further, I can feel the gentle touch of her breast. For once I can feel her skin rather than her bones, and it’s quite a nice feeling. Tracing my hand further up I smile, running my hand over her shoulder, brushing her hair off her body with a gentle smile, examining her freckles. Following the dots down onto her arm. They form a strange bird shape, slightly tipped to the left and looking ready to crash.  
It looks familiar.  
But she hasn't moved or reacted to my touch once yet, and I want to know what this woman looks like. And then I can throw her out of bed.  
Gently, I push her onto her back, catching a long shocked glance of the smug grin on my ginger bed-partners face.  
Holy. Fuck. That’s. Pepper. How. Did. She!?  
"Good Morning Mr Stark." Her voice is completely level, smiling gently up at me, running her hand gently through her hair.  
"H-hi?" I sound like a complete idiot. Tony, Seriously. She’s in your bed naked and all you can think to say is hi?! Oh shit, I think I might have mentally called my PA fat and old and ugly: "What happened last night?"  
"Don't you remember?" She asks, biting her bottom lip slightly and looking sideways, still laying underneath me. God she looks sexy pulling that face, it’s almost cheeky and it’s adorable.  
"I-I um..." Pull yourself together Mr Stark. Say something. Something productive. Gathering myself together I smirk, licking my lips a little and gently leaning in closer to her, losing myself in her eyes: "Did you enjoy last night?"  
"Last night?" She smiles, gently pulling me down closer, one arm wrapped around my neck, the Channel-apricots from before are even more powerful: "Last night was... Amazing." Pepper licks her lips gently, letting me lean in closer still: "You're an amazing person, Mr Stark." She smiles, tracing her fingertips down my cheek.  
"Up for another round, Beautiful?" I ask, leaning in to kiss her strawberry lips properly. I know I can take women to amazing places, but only when I’m sober, and she deserves it.  
Before I can capture her, however, she starts to laugh. It’s an adorable sound but I have a horrible feeling it’s aimed at me. Her eyes are half closed and her smile almost hits her ears: "Y-you actually fell for it!"  
What the hell is she on about now? What did I do?  
"Y-you actually think you had sex with me!" There are tears at the corners of her eyes as she sits up, the blanket pulled tight around her body: "April fools! I never thought this would work!" Still giggling I watch her press into her ear, hitting the blue tooth earpiece hiding in there: "Rhodey, it worked! We got him"  
I scramble backwards and get off her as fast as I can, my cheeks burning in horror and embarrassment. So ... so my PA and my best friend just...I have to laugh, not that there isn't a huge part of me that's desperately wishing that I really had just actually woken up with her there.  
"You did." I grin, offering my palm to hers, letting her high five me: "You are so not my type it scared me! You could have flattened me with your thighs woman. And you're ginger." I shouldn't really have said that, but I can't let her know how I really feel: "Thought your boyfriend was going to kill me. Or maybe you'd want to leave him for me cos I’m so much sexier?"  
Pepper gives me a very long look, only then do I notice the make-up and her perfectly curled hair. I need my powers of observation testing. She pulls herself out of bed before replying, wrapped up in a stolen blanket and a smile: "No thanks; my boyfriend is so much better in bed than you."  
"How would you know?" I ask, pulling the sheets down and showing off my perfectly toned chest to her, watching her. Pepper actually does steal a glance too.  
"My boyfriend," she paused, giving me a long look: "At least remembers to take the trash out before letting me into his bed."  
I panic, glancing around behind me only to discover she's right, curled up behind me is the real remains of last night, blonde and skimpy and asleep with her mouth half open.  
"Only cos you are his trash!" I retort without thinking, huffing at her in frustration.  
And she's gone before I can say anything else.  
Typical. Yet another chance for Pepper and I to actually get along, and I fuck it up.  
Is it too early to have a drink?


	6. Women and Whiskey are my friends

Women are weird. It’s a fact. Especially the ones that I work with. Seems like I can't even walk through my own building without a few of them fainting at the sight of me and a couple of autographs. Of course when I have a certain ginger women on my flank this kind of attention is unprofessional and not acceptable for the workplace.

Only then do I remind her that she’s exactly the same over me somewhere inside. I'm almost certain she must have her own copy of my autograph somewhere, all women fawn over me. That one included. 

Pepper is just denying the fact that she likes me so much. She doesn't want to confess she's like every other woman in America. If she didn't, she wouldn’t look quite so annoyed and pink cheeked every time I mention it. 

I'm not even quite sure where she's wandered away to this morning. She just went really pale in the middle of the meeting we were stuck in with Obie. I probably wouldn't have normally noticed all the colour leaving anyone’s cheeks like that if I hadn't been staring quite so much. 

Even Stane has stopped trying to reprimand me for getting distracted by Virginia’s beautifulness in meetings. It’s not as I have anything more useful I could do with my time whilst she and Baldness talk about finances and how I need to stop throwing money into every sudden idea I have for an invention without asking the *board’s* permission to do so. It’s actually my money, you two! You're not some kid’s mom and dad telling them what they can do with their pocket money.

Pepper chooses the complete wrong moment in my admiring her cleavage to look around. The look she gives me could curdle sour milk. 

I just grin back over at her.

After the morning I woke up with her in my bed I haven't really been speaking to her. I thought it would be a clever idea for a punishment for surprising me like that. Turns out someone was finding her life a lot easier without me yelling for her every few minutes.

Shame she was stupid enough to tell Rhodey she wasn't devastated by my three day refusal to talk to her. I've been trying my best to wind her up as much as possible since then. 

Our meaningful discussion we’re having through looks carries on until she suddenly turns about the same colour as a sheet. Shifting awkwardly on her chair before suddenly Pepper stops Obadiah mid rant, which is seriously weird because I'm the one that likes to interrupt, not my princess. 

For once I think I have the same thought as His Baldness at exactly the same time. Which is something along the lines of WTF Pepper?! She said something to Stane before suddenly running from the room... well. Running in a classy, not actually running, way, more marching at high speeds in stupidly high shoes.

I'm not quite sure why but I moved to follow her once my brain had registered the information that she'd left. If she asked I’d have just protested about her abandoning me with Obie to tell me off for not living up to my father’s expectations of me again. Not that I’m actually kind of a bit worried about her. 

I know she gets ill. And I know she refuses to let herself be ill. I've physically had to get Happy to take her home a few times; Pepper is stubborn even about feeling dead. 

I'm more than willing to spend a week in bed with man flu and make everyone do everything for me. It’s fun to be completely attention seeking. Not that I’m not like that just about every day anyway.

Obadiah just sat and looked at me, giving me a look of “Where the fuck are you going, Tony?” that I couldn't be bothered to argue with. As much as I want to go after my PA, I’m not her marvellous boyfriend so I'm probably going to get punched in the face for trying.

I really wish I could even think about her being in someone else's arms without wanting to drown myself in whiskey or hire an assassin to accidently remove him. 

Dammit Pepper! Just date ME so I can go running off after you and check if you're dying or something.

She's gone for exactly 8.42 minutes, which is a long time for a woman who can clear out a room in ten seconds flat with just a look. Stane was probably talking to me for the entire time she was missing, but I wasn't listening.

Her white cheeks are stained with pink blush as she sits back down. I really want to say something but the look she gives me is worse than the milk murdering one. The meeting carries on like nothing even happened.   
The moment it ends she disappears somewhere, without even scolding me for whatever I’ve done this time. Which is how I’ve ended up here, laying on the floor of the corridor outside her office staring up at the ceiling. 

Turns out counting the ceiling tiles is even more boring that I remembered it being as a child. I used to play this game when my parents weren't about and the butler was busy. I think I worked out about seven hundred new ways to arrange the tiles just in the hallway outside my father’s office. 

"What are you doing?" I'd know that tone of voice anywhere; it belongs to be very nice pair of legs that have just turned up just above my head. 

"Trying a new perspective." I answer without really thinking about it, it just sounded like a clever thing to say that wasn't “I was waiting for you.” Pepper doesn't move, just stays standing there.

"Has your new perspective changed anything? Like the fact you haven't done your paperwork again?" Pepper scolds me, poking at the top of my head with one foot. She shouldn't really have done that. It gives me a perfect view up her skirt if I tilt my head back enough. I have a feeling she's talking again but I’m busy. 

She's wearing proper underwear again. And it’s boring. But she's still got very pretty legs under there.

"Mr Stark, have you finished being a disgusting perverse man down there yet?" I knew Pepper would notice, but I can't help but be smug as I sit up. Her arms are crossed over her chest and she's tapping the ball of her foot against the tiled floor.

"Of course, Miss Potts. Although you may need a second investigation from another perspective." I manage to catch her gaze as I stand up, she's unimpressed but she's not as pale and there's the faintest hint of a smile pulling at her lips.

"That is completely unnecessary, Mr Stark. I would rather you inspected your paperwork." We're both standing now, and embarrassing as it is, I actually have to look up to her slightly. She's taller than me and those shoes just make it worse. 

Before I can think of anything to say to her she's turned her back on me, setting off back into her office. 

Okay. So the thing I'm about to do is really stupid. 

But I'm going to do it anyway. 

Before Pepper can get too far out of my reach I lean forwards and grab her ass with my hand, exactly in the middle, squeezing it a little and making her yelp in horror. It's probably the least professional noise I have ever heard her make at me.

The funny thing is. All I can feel is the same stuff that diapers are made of beneath my hand.

Eww.

I let go before she can slap my hands off her, Virginias turned on her heel again and is glaring at me furiously.

"Don't you DAR-"

"Are you wearing a diaper?" It kind of slips out before I can stop myself from saying it. She looks like I've just slapped her in the face.

"I am on my period." Pepper almost spells out, giving me a very long, angry look like I should have known that already.

".....Get a tampon?" I suggest unhelpfully, backing away a little from her.

"I can't." Pepper looks like she's smirking at me, her head cocked a little as she gazes at me. I've got a horrible feeling I'm about to learn something I really don't want to ever know about. Stepping forwards a little, she keeps her gaze on me: "Not all women can use a Tampon. Some of us have to use other things. What you just discovered" Pepper pauses, and I think I’m somewhere between quaking and running the hell away, I've never sent that look in her eyes before: "Is something more commonly referred to as a pad. It works like a diaper between my legs but it soaks up blood and everything else that happens between a woman's legs during her menstrual cycle." I can't believe this. I'm standing in the corridor and getting a lecture from my PA about woman things and I can't even think of anything for say to her.

I'm just completely dumbfounded. And it’s disgusting!! I don't want to think about periods. Or blood. Or... oh god she's still talking!

"...So no. I am not wearing the underwear you put on a baby, thank you very much Mr Stark. Anyway. Don't you DARE ever touch my ass again. Or I will file a sexual harassment suit against you for everything you're worth."

Uh.

Am I supposed to think of an answer?!

That isn't waiting to scream and run away in horror at the thought.

"Yes.... Yes, Miss Potts." I whimper, looking down at my feet. Even I’m aware that I sound like a kicked puppy.

Pepper smiles and marches off, leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor still admiring my feet.

I am NEVER touching her ass again ever. 

Eww.


	7. 7 - Not sharing my Whiskey with her, But love could involve a hand job.

"Hey baby..." I coo, my lips curled up into a grin as I gaze at my PA’s back as she works, curled up with her legs tucked under herself on her chair. Pepper glances around at me grumpily, I can sense her mood already but I’m not going anywhere.  
"Another pet name for me?' She scolds; obviously her mood hasn’t improved in the slightest after yesterday’s session of handing my ass to me in a plate with a period stick on top. She turns back around again, yanking her laptop closer to her again, obviously trying to bury herself in her work: "Can you still not remember my name?"  
"I can." Pulling the door closed behind me, I keep my gaze on her back. This probably like entering the lion’s den, she might eat me: "Virginia Patricia Stark?” I tease, grinning a little and attempting one of the many flirting techniques I’ve heard.  
"Potts." She reprimands me grumpily, carrying on with her work. I bet she’s blushing secretly though, her name sounds cute when you put my surname on it. Wasn't such a good idea after all it seems. Obviously its riling her a little, I can tell from the way she's shifted her legs under the table.  
"Stark sounds better."  
"We're not married."  
"We could be." I offer, grinning at the back of her head even though she can't see me.  
"No."  
"I'd even let you be Potts-Stark if you asked nicely." Our discussion seems to have covered the time it’s taken me to cross the room, stepping in close behind her and gazing down at the work in her hands. Pepper knows I’m standing here. I think that woman has Stark sensors built into her body just to stop me making her jump too many times.  
"The answer is still no, Mr Stark." She mutters, starting to work through the tax form in her hands, pretending she's completely ignoring the fact I’m there.  
"You wouldn't want to marry the man of your dreams, Pep?" I complain, resting a hand on her shoulder and feeling her tense a little under it.  
"I believe you fell off a cliff the last time you were in my dreams." She points out in the same monotone as she was using earlier, turning a page of the report in her hands, starting to write something about our tax bracket. If I wanted to, I could easily fill in the form she’s got. I've just never felt an overwhelming desire to do it.  
"I'm still a man in your dreams." I point out with a smug smile, looking down at the top of her head again. Her parting isn't quite perfect, and there are little threads of silver mixed into it. I don't think I’ve ever seen the top of her head before; she’s that much taller than I am.  
Pepper sighs, I can feel it through my touch on her shoulder: "What exactly do you want, Tony? I'm sure you didn't actually come here to ask for my hand in marriage."  
"Maybe one day I should." I mutter, leaning down a little so she can hear me. The blush that breaks out across her cheeks hits her ears as I rest my other hand on her shoulder, gripping them slightly the same way my masseuse does. Pepper physically seems to relax at that, leaning back into my hands slightly. I should actually think of a reason for being her that doesn’t want to apologise for yesterday: "Anyway Potts, what’s on the agenda for today."  
That was brilliant Tony. Why didn't you just tell her you don't know why you're here? I don't think I’ve ever even used the word agenda before.  
My strawberry blonde glances back to look at me, tipping her head up to gaze up into my eyes: "You doing your paperwork and we have a video conference with the board of directors about your inability to fill in your finances and the fact we seem to have misplaced almost a million dollars..." That look and the tone of voice are things I know too well. They're the warning signs that I’m going to get a lecture until the meeting that I’m supposed to be attending starts.  
Kissing her is really not a good idea as a way to shut her up, Tony. It’s much more likely to earn you a punch in the face. Curiously, I tighten my grip on her shoulders, running my thumbs gently over her shoulder blades the way my masseuse does.  
She shuts up.  
Wow.  
Her rant seems to have vanished the moment that I start to massage her, gently rubbing into her shoulders. I don't actually know what I’m doing in the slightest, but I’m not going to stop, gently rubbing the palms of my hands into her shoulder blades and shifting my hands a little further down so they're resting against her back. I push my hands a little harder and carry on my attempted massage.  
Pepper whimpers, her eyes closing as she tips her head back down. This could be so awkward if someone walked in. I think the noise means I’ve hit the right spot. I can't help but watch her, smiling a little.  
Okay so I know I should probably have gotten bored and let go. But Pepper's still is making those cute little noises when I push against the right places.  
That sounds almost sexual.  
It’s not! I promise!  
"Feeling any more relaxed, Miss Potts?" I ask the wall, not daring to look down at her as I gently take my hands off her.  
"Yes..." Her voice is a lot softer than usual as she turns around to face me, glancing down at her watch: "You're going to be late for your meeting, Mr Stark."  
I would have already left but she's smiling, I’ve never seen Virginia looking that content. Running a hand though my hair I smile at her in return, just drinking in the sight of my PA being relaxed for five seconds longer than normal.  
"Didn't you hear me?" She asks with a glare, the relaxation disappearing and of course it’s my fault.  
"Yep, die of board meeting. I heard you." Doesn't mean I’m planning on moving quite yet, I’m still gazing at her pretty face. I can tell the weather must be getting warmer; she's got more faint freckles on her nose than she had yesterday during my lecture.  
"Shoo?" Pepper waves a hand at me, turning back around to her work: "You're going to be late."  
"Only going to be?" I tease, folding my arms over my chest and watching her hair. I really am waiting for her to end up with a bird living in her messy 'up' do or whatever she calls it.  
"Sir...." I can hear her scowling at me; she doesn't even need to turn around: "Could you not be on time for once?"  
"Nope." Might as well be honest with her, I don't want to be on time. The more on time I am, the more likely they'll start asking me for my latest ideas for weapons, and today I don't have any to give.  
Could tell them exactly how to give my PA a very good massage though.  
Pepper is glaring at me as she gets up, crossing the room to loom over me. Stupid woman heels making her taller than I am.  
Craning my neck a little, I look up at her: "Mr Stark." Miss strawberry blonde is giving me the same sort of look she probably gives the toilet after she’s used it.   
"Yes Pepper?" I ask, giving her my best completely innocent look even though I know what’s coming next.  
"Would you like me to escort you to your meeting?'   
"Walk me to the door and wave goodbye?" I ask, keeping my gaze on hers.  
Pepper gives me a very long look at that point, a very, very long look: "Do you really need me to treat you like you're in kindergarten?"  
"Do I get a bed time story?" I ask with a grin, looking up still.  
"Will you please stop behaving like a ten year old?" Pepper complains, huffing a little and crossing her arms over her chest.  
"Actually. I think I'd need to be about four to be in kindergarten." I point out, giving her my best cocky grin.  
We both just stand there looking at each other for a while. Well, more me grinning and her looking at me like I’m a bad smell. Pepper finally goes to speak but I cut her off before she can, looking down at my watch: "I'm late! Thanks Pepper, I've even got an excuse."   
Her expression is a mix between horror and irritation as I scarper, I know I’ll pay for it later but it was worth it. And I’ve got a brilliant excuse for being late, not that Obie is going to believe I got one up on Pepper.  
Why on earth am I so smug about it?!


	8. 8 - I don't share my Whiskey, my love or my woman.

I think the last two weeks could win an award for being stupidly boring. Everything is meetings and work and me getting into trouble for breathing in or even looking the wrong way. I don't think I’ve ever seen my company this busy or the rest of my staff doing this much work.

Miss Potts is a great believer in not delegating work and wanting to check everything before its sent off or filed. I can understand why, before she started working here the filing system was a bit of a mess, we were still using dad’s original one from god knows how long ago. So now, just about every piece of important paperwork concerning me, my finances or anything really important has to have the Pepper Potts seal of approval so nothing can go drastically wrong.

I actually threatened to buy her a gold star stamp to stamp on the bottom of all the correct paperwork like you do with children’s books at kindergarten. Pepper pointed out that the only one that would approve of that stupid idea was probably me, as everyone else was a professional and didn't need the motivation.

I still had one sent to her that Christmas as part of the secret Santa.

Anyway. That’s how it used to work. But since this new boyfriend had appeared in her life she's stopped. She’s actually been going home from work on time, stopped suddenly appearing on weekends to finish things off or kick me out of bed to do work, and she's started making other people actually do their jobs.

It’s just weird. I can't even tell her off for overworking and pay her overtime anymore. Pep's just about halved her pay check...

And according to this email I have another really interesting meeting...with Hammer Industries.

I'm not even sure how that company’s still afloat, all they seem to do is try to steal our military contracts with tech that’s probably never going to work. Obie is usually the one that deals with people like them; I think that might actually be his job.

Whatever. I can't see this meeting being interesting in the slightest.

* * *

So apparently this event warrants Pepper being in a skirt that’s well above her knees. And I mean a hell of a way above her knees. I think it’s about the equivalent of a mini skirt in black.

I don't think I’ve ever seen her in anything that short before. It’s a really sexy sight and motivation enough for me to follow her down the corridor to the executive offices of Stark Tower. We have special 'shiny' offices for meetings which I barely ever use.

Strangely we're on time for once, almost early.

Seems our 'guest' is here too, Pepper darts off at this point. She usually does, to apologise for me being late or grumpy or just generally me. Strangely she seems to be smiling at the man she's standing in front of, taking the hand he offers her in both of hers, holding it tight. Obviously Pepper knows who that is even if I don't.

So I know as a kid, you're always taught not to judge a book by its cover and that first impressions aren't everything, but he's wearing a white suit.

White suit, sunglasses, his arm around my PA’s waist as he leads her inside the meeting room and he's blonde.

Someone's obviously trying to pretend he's better than me, in my building. I know I should probably say something but obviously my PA has forgotten I exist.

Pepper's grumpy and ignores me probably more that she should in a normal working relationship, but she's always perfectly professional the moment anyone else is involved. So right now, I think I have the right to be completely confused.

This sounds completely stupid but I’m not quite sure what to do. We have a method for meetings, they always work the same way. I could probably abandon this meeting altogether and leave Pepper to it. Obviously she likes him.

My great escape plan gets stopped by the arrival of Obadiah Stane and his wonderfully shiny bald head. I've always wanted to polish it, or draw on it, or just find a way to really annoy him. He looks as surprised as I feel at the fact I'm here on time, herding me into the room after Pepper and that man.

Ten minutes pass since I first saw him, and I finally find out that the new man is, in fact, Justin Hammer. I have to pretend to smile when he starts talking about how he hopes we can be friends. I nod slightly and sit down, noticing the glowers I’m getting from Stane and Potts threatening to disintegrate me if I don't behave.

Anyone would think that I’m a child and they're my mom and dad sometimes. Or a really grumpy set of grandparents that think I should be getting married and having five children with a suitable woman.

Anyway. The meeting seems to be about some kind of collaboration project between my company and Justin’s. Well obviously my answer to that is no, never, not going to happen, but my opinion isn't worth anything to these two. I haven't even bothered to mention it.

I'm just spending the meeting letting my mind wonder, last time I sat through one of these business meetings I managed to almost figure a way to make a portable anti-gravity device, that I can slip under women’s skirts to blow them upwards, giving the viewer a perfect view of her panties.

Not that it would have been any fun to use on my PA today because of that awful skirt.

Normally Pepper is much more formal and polite to the people we have meetings with. Most people wouldn’t notice the slight changes and I know she's pretending that nothing’s changed but she's lost all the snark and bossiness from her voice. She’s not broken eye contact with him once. Normally she looks away a good few times to catch my gaze, usually to give a meaningful look or just so she can check if it’s actually me she's just kicked under the table.

Pepper hasn't even looked at me once yet; all she keeps doing is gazing into that man’s eyes. Maybe he's a hypnotist and that’s what he's planning on doing to her to get a better deal out of the company.

I'm going to have to try and grab her when this ends and have a discussion with her about just how she knows that man. Sighing completely overdramatically, I dump my head in my hand, glaring over at the slimy blonde.

"Bored already Tony?" The voice that cuts through my thoughts is definitely not Pepper’s. Slimy has obviously noticed me before she has; cocking my gaze a little I catch his gaze.

His eyes are extremely boring and not going to hypnotise me with them.

"I need coffee." I point out bluntly, getting up before any of them could stop me: "Anyone mind? No? Good, see you in half an hour." Turning my back I march away before anyone can say anything to stop me.

It’s true. I need coffee. I'm going to find a double strength Irish coffee and down it before I think too much about what’s going on.

Why does Pepper know him? Why is she so close to him? And why does just him being in the room piss me off so very much?!

What’s going on between Virginia Potts and Justin Hammer that I don't know about!

* * *

I don't think I’ve ever had coffee that’s tasted quite this good. Well, I say coffee but it’s actually just a shot of coffee and a hell of a lot of Whiskey. I have a horrible feeling that I’m gonna need several more of these before I want to go back into that meeting room. I don't know where those two got to, and I don't really care.

Finishing the mug I just pull the bottle of whiskey from the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet. There are places that even my PA doesn't have access to.  This particular meeting room I’m hiding in (not that I’m actually hiding. I just didn't want to go near those two, or baldy) is one of the ones that I have  stocked for mid meeting breaks, so I can have a drink or two when I need one.

This bottle of Jack Daniels and I are friends, I've decided. I'd take it back into the meeting if I didn't think Pepper would kill me for it. I've done it before, occasionally she steals it and sometimes she'll have a very long drink before she throws it in the bin. I think that woman is much more stressed than she tells me.

I think I’ve drunk about half the bottle by the time I should get back. At least my head doesn't feel quite so shitty now. Whiskey helps with just about everything, especially how I feel about Justin Hammer it seems.

With a huff, I drop the bottle back into the drawer and kick it shut. Pepper is probably still going to notice the booze on my breath if she gets anywhere near me.

That’s a big IF. She’s not even bothered to come looking for me right now. Yawning I head back down the corridor, if she's not coming to me I’ll go to her.

I sound desperate don't I?

There's a scrambling of chairs and noise as I throw the door open again. Justin and Pepper are still in there, she’s curled up with a coffee mug in one hand and upside-down paperwork in the other. He's sat opposite her, glancing over at her as he presses the coffee to his own lips. The two of them pretend not to notice me for a moment, I would have been completely fooled by it all if it wasn't for the fact she looks slightly dishevelled and there's what looks like traces of her lip stick around his mouth. Or at least I think it’s hers, although Hammer could secretly be a transvestite for all I know.

Of course there's probably a completely logical explanation for it, maybe she fell asleep in the chair or fell over off those stupid shoes and he caught her.

It’s definitely not because she's kissed him. Why would my Pepper Potts kiss him? Obviously she knows him, but that’s no reason I should start thinking she’s touching him. Pepper has a boyfriend to keep up with.

Tony. Shut up. You're actually thinking about what your PA does with her life outside of work. You have much better things to do than this.

Like completely ignoring the rest of this meeting. They started talking again; obviously Obie has reappeared whilst I was thinking.

I can't understand why Pepper’s doing this; she’s just gazing at him aimlessly whilst talking about million dollar business deals and it’s really pissing me off. It’s as if I’ve stopped existing.

I'm a billionaire genius playboy philanthropist, not a love struck teenager.

And that is not my PA’s boyfriend. I'm reading things into the situation. Obviously she knows him and she's flirting to get the company a better deal.

She wouldn't date my business rival, that’s just not right. Dating someone’s worst enemy to get their attention is a thing children do.

My attempt at tuning into the conversation only lasts three seconds, they're talking about bio-economic factors involved in experimentation and testing whilst Stane explains about our private testing grounds. My private testing grounds. I wonder how much the safety protocols she’s spouting will matter if Hammer uses them. I think I remember him being the guy who rushed testing and prototypes of a lot of explosive failures. It’s probably what happened to his own testing grounds.

Yawning, I lay my head on my arms on the table, half watching the trio and getting comfy.

The moment this meeting is over, I am getting Hogan to take me to the nearest bar.

Get drunk, get laid, and stop thinking about how Justin Hammer is a transvestite and Pepper is still unable to stay on her feet whist my back is turned.

Sounds like a very good idea to me.

What do you think?


	9. 9 - Women won't talk and nor will my whiskey.

Here’s a fact for you, Anthony Stark doesn't really have a temper. Yeah, I’m stubborn and awkward and demanding, but I’ve never particularly had the desire to punch something. (Pepper actually has more of a temper than I do. I've seen her angry and things break and people run as far away as possible.)  But for some reason since that meeting I’ve just wanted to hit something.

 

I know Pepper can't be dating him; she wouldn't lower herself to that level. And more to the point, she’s not that mean to me. Dating my business rival is so unprofessional it’s just not her. Obviously she's flirting for the good of my company.

 

I haven't asked her about my hypothesis on her and him; she probably wouldn't even talk to me if she did.

 

Miss Potts is always very private about her own life; she changes the subject before I can ask a single question. I don't actually know fuck all about her outside of work. I'm not even quite sure where she's living at the moment.

 

What if she's actually a bitch?

 

I'm gonna burn my hand on the soldering iron again. I've migrated to the lab and locked everyone out. I'm going to stay here and do what I do best. The newspapers fondly call me an inventor rather than a mad scientist.

 

I'm not actually a scientist, I’m an engineer. A lot of people forget that. I make things and create things, but I have a very keen interest in science. I make weapons, very high tech ones that can change the world if you use them right.

 

I'm not even going to think about what happens with my inventions. Back to the other thing, my PA. And the fact we have a charity ball tonight. This means I’ll get forced out of my lab and into a suit and out of the door to be social.

 

Oh, if you're wondering about last night it was nothing special. I just had too much whiskey, pulled, and dragged three women whose names I don't know home. Usually that would satisfy me for a while but it hasn't even worked for today.

 

I think the whole world is against me today, I can hear Pepper marching down the stairs to verbally chop my head off. I haven't been to an appointment or a meeting all day. It’s her fault; I don't want to look at her.

 

Never thought I’d say that. I just can't get the thought of her and Justin possibly being together out of my head. I wonder what he's done to her.

 

And why she won't let me do it.

 

"Mr Stark." Here we go; she’s probably standing in the doorway of the lab glaring at my back in an attempt to burn a hole into it.

 

"I'm busy, Pepper..."

 

"You're going to be late." She scolds, I can hear her move but like hell I’m going to turn around: "And there are about three hundred things I need to talk to you about that you've missed with this protest of yours."

 

"Who says it’s a protest?" I try to point out, but she keeps talking, following after me when I set off to walk around the lab. Of course she’s not listening, following me.

 

"We have a ball tonight that you have to attend, the military have a new contract you need to sign, Rhodey called again wanting to know if you're planning on attending the demonstration, you need to come the office and tell me what you want me to do with stuff you bought last week."

 

I'm only half listening as I carry on wondering around the lab, letting her talk as I half clean up; this seems to be the only time I ever do any sort of cleaning. It means I can pretend I’m not listening: "I know, I will, yes and I know about that too. I thought I told you what to do with it?" I reply, not expecting her to realise I’m actually answering her questions.

 

"No you didn't." Oh, so she was listening. She’s stopped behind me and she's probably trying to laser burn a hole in my back with her eyes.

 

"I did. Told you last week..." I point out; pretending that I’m rearranging the vials in front of me (I can't actually remember what’s in these, but something that smells awful.)

 

"A million and seven other things have happened since last week." The woman behind me snaps, flicking through the papers on her clipboard: "You didn't even write it down for me did you? Honestly Tony, this is why you can't run the company without me! Never mind look after yourself, when did you last sleep or eat..." Normally I can put up with her attitude towards me, no matter how picky and bossy she gets. Pepper seems to forget that I’m actually the boss here sometimes, but it’s really pissing me off right now: "...You really do need to learn to take care of yourself and your company! When did you last come up to the office with me and do some productive work? I need y-"

 

"Are you sleeping with Hammer?" Okay. So that wasn't quite what I meant to say, but it’s been bothering me so I might as well ask. Turning back around to face her, I can't help but smirk at her expression. She looks like I’ve just run her over with a bus or slapped her with a frying pan.

 

"No." Pepper replies, her voice staying steady and calm despite her expression. She might as well have written _yes there is something going on that you were never supposed to know about_ on her forehead.

 

"You sure about that, Potts?" I ask, crossing my arms over my chest and keeping my gaze on her. For once, Pepper seems to wilt a little, like a child caught by a teacher kissing behind the bike sheds. I've never seen her like that, and weirdly I feel like I’ve done something wrong.

 

"Very sure, Mr Stark." Her voice is still perfect, despite her momentary lapse. Could an earthquake not even break her demeanour for more than three seconds? She’s marched back across the room and is glowering at me, her expression dangerous. This is one of the few times I know that I’ve really hit a nerve. She looks ready to kill me, it’s the same expression she had when I accidently told the press she was gay and that was why I’ve never slept with her: "Mr Hammer and I have a professional relationship in front of you, and anything other than that has nothing to do with you, Mr Stark. I suggest you get ready for this evening. The car will be ready at seven."

 

I never thought the way she said my name could feel like she’s just stabbed me with something sharp.

 

And she’s lying to me, but she’s not.... Fucking women and their emotional bullshit. If I knew how to make this stop, I would. I shouldn't care about what she does or why she does it.

 

And I really shouldn't care if she's dating Justin hammer and didn't tell me. She made me find out myself.

 

Okay Tony, cool it. You don't care about what your PA does outside of work remember? You don't care, it doesn't affect you, it’s nothing to do with you, and it doesn't matter she marched off before you could tell her what you really think.

 

Come here whiskey. You don't talk. You don't do weird shit.

 

I hate women who have their clothes on and thrust their relationships in my face!

 

I need a long, hard drink before tonight.

* * *

So maybe my one drink turned into half the bottle and I still don't regret it; I could have drunk the entire thing and fallen asleep for the rest of the day rather than suffer this ball. As much as I encourage charity work and I don't mind giving them money, I just don't get why that involves a pointless party at which I’m expected to socialise.

 

Maybe there’s gonna be a hot woman or two to keep me occupied; usually there’s someone for me to talk to.

 

Anyway, I'm dressed and waiting for a certain woman to appear. I know it’s weird that my PA constantly seems to get ready in my house for everything, but we normally have the same makeup artist and hairdresser, so in a way it makes sense.

 

And it means she knows exactly where I am and she can stop me escaping. I've done that before. She wasn't impressed.

 

Weirdly, I'm ready before she is. So sprawling on the sofa in a tux, getting JARVIS to fill the house with AC/DC and waiting for her to appear is always a good idea, even though the bots seem to have drained all the whiskey in my cabinet again. I'll confess now that all the bots have safety protocols about who much I'm allowed to drink before they'll take the bottle off me. It’s saved me a few times from doing stupid things, like booking an operation to change my gender about three months back. Starkella was obviously never supposed to happen.

 

Hopefully the footsteps coming down the stairs mean my pepper pot is finally ready to go.

 

"Evening beautiful." I've yelled it before I’ve even sat up properly, stretching both arms above my head. Pepper can't complain I haven't said the customary complement about her evening regalia if I do it now. (And means I might actually say something that isn't going to give her reason to throw champagne in my face.)

 

"Beautiful?" Oh wait. That’s definitely not my PAs voice. Either she's suddenly changed gender or that’s someone I haven't seen in a long time: "You getting desperate again Tony?"

 

"Have they finally dismissed you?" I ask with a grin, scrambling off the sofa in the most unattractive fashion ever, and scrambling up, waiting for the other man to come to me.

 

"Dismissed? I got promoted!" My new accomplice is James Rhodes, who I’ve known since MIT and is my best friend. Despite the face he's older than I am we've always gotten along, he's probably the only person that can stand me outside of my staff

 

"Still general dishwasher?" I ask, holding out a hand to him.

 

"Liaison between the military and the weapons manufacturers, and its Lieutenant Rhodes to you, that was only for a week." He's pulled me into a hug anyway; I've actually really missed having Rhodey around to talk to, but don't tell him that.

 

"You come to make me rich rather than Hammer? I thought the military preferred him?"

 

"Your stuff works." He points out, still grinning at me: "Hammer’s has a habit of doing nothing."

 

"So you're planning on accompanying me to this ball, getting me drunk and making me sign a contract with awful terms and huge demands for half price?"

 

"Pretty much."

 

"I like that plan." I point out, still grinning: "Whiskey?" It’s more of an order than a question really, pushing the glass into his hand before he can come up with some bullshit reason why he can't have it _because he's working._

 

Rhodey and I must have wasted almost an hour catching up and emptying my whiskey cabinet before the second set of footstep came trailing down the stairs.

 

"Thought you'd abandoned us for the night Potts." I tease, extracting my (slightly more crumpled and definitely more drunk than when she left me) self from under Rhodes and getting up.

 

Normally I just take a minute to gaze at her, My PA almost always looks stunning in floor-length black, white or blue dresses, making her hair do gravity defying things and shoes that make her taller than I am, but tonight is...um....different? Someone’s completely straightened her hair, the smallest pair of heels I’ve ever seen on her and she's wearing a hot pink, sparkly, off the shoulder cocktail dress.

 

Wait.

 

What?!

 

I know nothing about fashion but she looks like a teenager at her high school prom. Surely she didn't pick that dress? Tony. Stop staring and think of something to say, quickly.

 

"That dress would look better on my bedroom floor." I point out, reconstructing my usual cocky grin. It probably would. Or in the trash.

 

"Has that line ever worked?" She asks, shifting a little under the weight of my gaze.

 

"Yes, occasionally." I grin, offering her my arm: “On girls that didn't look as beautiful as you do tonight." It’s a very forced grin as I look her over, she really does look a state in that dress and I’m struggling to hold back the laughter.

 

She takes my arm without protest and lets me lead her outside, her and Rhodey engaging in a conversation about a new weapon the military want from us. I didn't even know they knew each other. I really should pay a little bit more attention to who she speaks to.

 

"So who bought the dress?" I finally ask once we're all in the back of the limo, sharing a bottle of champagne that probably cost as much as Rhodey's entire military get up.

 

"My partner." Pepper points out with a smile, taking a long sip from the glass in her hand, a sudden sparkle in her eyes as she thought about him.

 

"He's been promoted from boyfriend?" I ask ignoring the look Rhodes is giving me over the top of his own glass: "Because he bought you a dress?"

 

She doesn't say anything, just slightly inclines her head whilst looking at her knees.

 

"Are you that easy to impress?" I ask her, downing the champagne in my glass and abandoning it somewhere: "Shoes and flowers and clothes? I buy you all those things too..."

 

"If your next line is 'why aren't I dating you then?'" Pepper retorts before I can say anything more, her gaze snapping up and setting her gaze on me: "It’s because my boyfriend isn't a jumped up spoilt teenager that expects everything to be his and his way. He just loves me for who I am. You can’t buy my affection Tony."

 

It seems like she's timed her statement perfectly as we finally pull in outside the ball, Pepper disappearing out of the car before I’ve managed to say anything else.

 

So I have to show her how I feel? How am I supposed to do that?!

 

Tonight is going to be a very long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently managed to get my tumblr to work finally. I'll be posting chapter previews there and I'll answer any questions and reviews as well (I think that'll be easier than trying to reply to them on here. If you are interested, the link is http://pepperfays.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter 10

One day someone will invent a ball that isn't boring. But that'll probably be the day that I stop having to attend them altogether. Pepper hasn't come back since I made her angry at me, I don't really blame her. But! There are plenty of reasonably attractive men and important business people that she can get distracted by, she's always been the one that's good at talking until your ears hurt about business things. She also seems to know everyone's names. This is weird and usually leads her to following me around and whispering who people are in my ear, I can usually tell if I’ve slept with them or not from how angry she sounds.  
In the scheme of things, her dress isn't really that dissimilar to most of the women's at this ball, it seems to be a room full of bad dress sense.  
It's just bothering me. That Justin Hammer bought that dress.  
I thought that man was interested in trying to look cooler than me? Not make my PA look like a blancmange. Unless he's decided to wear a pink suit to match.  
And then I'll piss myself laughing.  
Anyway, Rhodes has gone off to do whatever he does, peppers missing in the crowds and I didn't bring anyone else along to bother. So I'm going to find whiskey and somewhere to go sit and find someone worthy of my attention.  
I've found someone, well; about four someone's that are all giving me the overwhelming urge to do some research into hairspray again. They're all attempting to use their hair to make themselves taller. (I'm actually tempted to try and grow my own a bit, see it that makes me look any taller. I hate being short, okay?)  
Women are still completely weird, I know they're all over me right now but they'll hate me in the morning. I don't understand how they work; Potts keeps proving that to me lately. I never really had a mom to teach me about them... Anyone feel like writing me a book about them? Might actually read it.  
And there's the most confusing woman in my life again, hold his hand and giggling as he holds her. Obviously Peppers caught me looking; throwing me the same look she probably gives the toilet on the morning. Its awkward watching her, I've never even seen her with a boyfriend before! I've never watched her be kissed or touched or held by anyone. I can't look away and I know I should, I have a weird feeling I'm jealous.  
Pfft. Anthony Stark jealous of his PAs boyfriend? I have much better, more gorgeous, more successful, sexier women I can chase around than her. I'm just concerned about her work ethic getting ruined and that I'll have to fire her.  
But...I don't think I could run the company without her.  
That's the only decent reason why I just jumped up and extracted myself from the gaggle of women surrounding me and went after my PA the moment her partner stepped away from her side to fetch her a drink. Pepper didn't seem to realise I was even approaching her until I was about a millimetre from her face, grinning at her.  
"Tony!" She squeaked when she realised, almost jumping backwards out of the haze she was lost in, cheeks flushing deeper than her dress: "What do you want?"  
Peps question seems a bit stupid if you ask me, why do women always ask things like that? I do stuff because I want to do it and I go places because I want to go there, and isn't it obvious what I want? I want her. And to punch Hammer in the face. But her first.  
"To dance?" I suggest beaming at her and offering my hand to her, noticing her partner slipping out of one of the main doors. I don't think I've ever seen her pull such a confused face, she's looking at me like I just offered to change into a cat like that woman in harry potter right before her eyes...I bet I could make that possible.  
"You can't dance..." Pepper offers in protest, her expression settling into a more familiar scathing look, hands across her chest as she watches me. Leaning forwards just enough I unlace them, threading my fingers around hers and placing her free hand on my shoulder, mine resting on her waist.  
"Yes I can." I point out with a smirk, starting to take the lead: "Jarvis taught me..."  
"Your computer taught you to dance." Pepper gives me a look that's almost more scathing than the last six, her hands finally relaxing slightly into mine as she lets me take her into step, leading her into the dancers as the song changed. (Full orchestras sound awesome in concert halls for important parties, make a note.)  
"...Jarvis used to be my butler." I point out, shifting my hands on her back to pull her in and stop a collision with someone I think I recognise.  
"H-he was a person?" She asks, genuinely looking lost for a few moments. I seriously though pepper knew this story? Obviously not. Huh.  
"Yeah, looked after me as a kid a lot and taught me to dance and *have manners*...Not that it worked." She almost smiles at that, drawing herself in closer and gazing down at me, actually listening for a change: "So I named my computer after him..."  
"...Because he does the same job?" She offers helpfully, smiling at me slightly more than before and keeping step with me, following me around in a dance that probably should have been more awkward than it is.  
"Yeah. Exactly..." I mutter, spinning her around in my arm at the exact moment I should in this waltz, my hands landing a little too low on her back. Strangely, she doesn't protest but her cheeks flush slightly, the pink doing its usual trick of bringing out the freckles on her nose and cheeks. Okay, so somehow, despite the huge layer of makeup making her look like a Barbie doll with ginger hair, my heads telling me to tell her she's beautiful.  
You're not her boyfriend idiot. She'll punch you.  
Speaking of boyfriends, there's gentle tap on my shoulder from the man that thinks he's worthy of being her boyfriend.  
"Mr Stark, I believe that's my Girl you're dancing with." He smiled, showing off his over whitened teeth from above me, I really need to get taller. I could almost swear Pepper tightened her grip on my hand for a moment before letting go and smiling at him as she took her champagne glass.  
"She's also my PA." I point out, letting her go anyway: "I think she can spare me five minutes of her time."  
Pepper seems to look between the two of us, obviously sensing that I want to stab Justin for interrupting: "I think Rhodey was looking for you Tony."  
I know it's a lie but I nod anyway, casting Hammer the cockiest smirk I can before heading off into the crowd again. I should stop drinking quite so much whiskey.  
Somehow, Potts stays out of my mind until this pointless ball is almost over, and I'm getting herded out of the door by Rhodes (who did actually want to talk to me. Maybe Pepper was having premonitions or something about me and him?) With his usual line of *go home tony you're drunk again*. I'm doing as I'm told and then suddenly she's there with that thing of hers, back pressed up against the wall and I can tell she's crying.  
Don't ask. I just know.  
And don't ask why I'm about to do what I'm about to do but he made her cry.  
And nobody but me is allowed to make my PA cry.  
Marching up behind them I cough, attracting peppers attention before I get his, and I swear that was relief in her eyes.  
Finally Hammer turns around, sarcastic smile set on his face but it’s pretty obvious he's grinding his teeth at the sight of me: "What do you want, Tony?"  
Okay. Okay asshole. Nobody addresses me like that and makes my girl cry and gets away with it: "You made Pepper cry." I point out without really thinking it through, glaring at him from behind my Ray-Bans.  
"She made herself cry, didn’t you darling?" Hammer twists slightly to glace at Pepper, and her relief at seeing me vanishes as she nods, Justin's gaze on her obviously means something and I don't know what.  
But I don't like it.  
Okay, kids, what I'm about to do next wasn't the best idea I've ever had (wasn't the stupidest, that's a different story altogether) but I don't suggest you do it to anyone unless you really need to or they're a bully.  
Before him or her could argue, I punched him.  
Even Hogan would have been proud of that particular punch if his back hadn't been turned. Usually I don't really mean it when I hit people, it's just training or it's Rhodey. But I actually meant that one.  
Seconds later and I've been descended on by a load of huge blokes that stink like cheap cologne and need better haircuts, but it's done what I needed it to, Peppers disappeared before he can make her cry anymore.  
"That woman makes you do some stupid things Tony." Rhodey points out once he's dragged me out of cheap stink mountain and is handle manning me back to the limo and my actual bodyguard.  
"He made her cry." I point out loudly, acting up how much I've had to drink despite the adrenaline coursing through my body: "Wasn't stupid at all! Shoulda done it harder!"  
Rhodey pulled me away despite my protesting, through the crowds and out past the press. There would be hell to pay in the morning for what I'd just done, I knew it but I knew it was the right thing to do. I don't normally stick up for anyone other than myself, and it really does feel weird to have helped my PA out.  
Maybe I should do this more?


	11. Chapter 11

So apparently punching someone else's boyfriend suddenly makes the entire world think you're secretly having a relationship with his girlfriend. At least it does according to the written media and every single TV station (I haven’t dared look at what the less official part of the internet makes of it yet). Are all press reporters ninjas? Because I could have sworn we were alone when I did that, yet suddenly there’s photos and phone footage and everyone’s asking why I did it.

So today is already gonna be one of those days and I haven't even left my bed. I'm pretty certain that there's not gonna be the usual footsteps and bad temper to drag me out of here, I’m not even sure where the owner of both of those things is right now. Hopefully in the process of telling Hammer where to shove it. JARVIS is taking his usual delight in pulling up every news report and magazine cover that he can find to give me a headache with. Gotta say that the headlines are getting worse; 'Blows at the ball', 'Pepper Potts: The new Bridget Jones' (Who the hell is that? Have I slept with her?) 'The Bust Up Club' and the least creative, probably because it’s one of those serious papers that business people read on the subway and glower at you over: 'Tony Stark punches Justin Hammer"

That last article was at least blunt about it. Still no regrets though! And it seems that’s the only newspaper that’s been honest about what happened, I punched him and walked (well, was dragged by Rhodey) away, but according to the magazines “There was an all-out punch-up where Stark almost killed Hammer with dirty boxing techniques, unashamedly taught to him by disqualified boxer Happy Hogan, whilst a horrified crowd watched. Mr Hammer had to be rushed to intensive care in hospital once Stark had been dragged away from his mutilated body”

It’s making me wish I’d actually done more than punched him...but then the press would have probably acted like I’d killed him.

Whatever. I don't really care... I just care that Pepper’s okay. And that I never uninstall the vocal recognition software from my computer, my hand is seriously killing me or I would attempt to write down everything I’m saying rather than saying it aloud for JARVIS to record.

I wonder if it’s actually possible to break your hand punching someone?

* * *

Okay, so that trip to A&E has officially taught me that yes, you can break your hand by punching someone if you hit them in the jaw at the wrong angle and jar your wrist at the same time. So my right hand looks so sexy in a bandage, and I had to get out of bed and suffer a lecture from my own bodyguard on how I should learn to punch correctly if I'm going to start fights, and that I probably shouldn't have because now the press are talking shit about him too. I think he's been spending too much time around Pep. He sounded almost like her if she had a penis.

But luckily for me, Hap at least remembered what his priorities are, and has delivered me a mountain of Burger King to keep me quiet on the way back from hospital. Apparently these things are impossible to eat with any decorum if you've only got one hand, I should probably be getting a lecture on manners, and how I don't have any, from a concerned parent or my PA right now whilst she attacks me with a cloth to my mouth and a scowl. (I swear Potts was born to be a mother, she's already getting her practice in on me, rather than on a friend’s brat.)

It is actually weird that she's not here to do that. Yeah, I know, I complain and act like I hate her for it all the time, but it’s actually kinda nice that she does. I should probably say something to her about what happened last night...Not that I’m apologising! I don't regret it. In the slightest. And you should never apologise unless you actually mean it, unless that apology is worth money or saves your marriage apparently, that was Dad’s policy on it.

* * *

JARVIS, delete anything I said earlier about possibly not hating my PA. Most women, with a soul or any feelings wouldn't have yelled at me! Then handed me a fully booked meeting schedule and whacked me with her clipboard accidently when I tried to mention the fact her eyes are still slightly red. I don't think she slept much last night, probably because she was worrying about me and debating the best way to get me to throw myself lovingly into her arms and carry her away from her asshole boyfriend.

Keep dreaming Tony; those tears were over him not you.

Pepper’s marched off to do something and left me in her office to wait for her to find me something else productive to do, now that I’ve been a good little boss and followed her entire schedule to the letter. Unluckily for her, and lucky for me, she's left her cell on the desk.

Well it’s completely not an invasion of privacy if I'm attempting to stop it ringing and I just completely and utterly *happen* to unlock it in the process. JARVINIA likes me anyway, that’s what I’ve named the software that’s partially in the device and partly still in production, and she’s told me so. Well, more exactly she told Dum-e through her coding, and he then data-shared to JARVIS and he then told me, but I know where the message was from. This AI system has the same learning capabilities as my bots but the talking ability of JARVIS and all the sass and gingerness of the woman that owns it. She's turning out to be quite useful even in her delta stages, seems like she hasn't forgotten who her daddy is.

Pepper has officially got the most boring collection of texts on her mobile apart from the ones that are registered as being from her **darling**, I’m just guessing but that’s probably him. Oh and the ones from me, they're pretty cool.

But he's even a creep in texts. Listen to this! "It’s not my fault you were in tears, was it darling? There was no need to set the man you've been cheating with on me, was there Virginia?" I just want to punch him right now. He is the most...eww...I just CAN'T stand him. I want to know how my PA even stands him. It can't be romantic... What did she do to him? March into his office and yell at him like she did to me?

At least I'm certain they're dating now.

Why didn't Pepper just tell me? What did she think was going to happen? I was gonna punch hi-Oh wait. But she still should have told me about it! I know she hates me and doesn't want me involved, but I probably wouldn't hate it so much if she'd just told me about it.

Maybe I should just get a girlfriend myself and forget about her completely, seems like she doesn't even care when I stick up for her.

I sound like a fucking emo teenager swooning after the most popular girl in school. Grow up Tony. You're an adult. You can have ANY woman you want at all. You could even have a queen if you gave her the usual knock-em-dead treatment. She’d be on her knees giving you head before the end of the night.

Right. Okay. I give up.

No more flirting with her, Anthony Stark, and no more breaking your hand from hitting slimy men.

Ditching her cell back on the desk, I lean back in the chair, yawning and getting comfy whilst she's not about. Ten minutes later and the clicking of heels serenades the grumpy cow’s return, I think that’s probably the sound that completely sums up my PA, accompanied by a good deal of shouting at people for things and a scowl.

"Nice lip-gloss you have there” Cracking open one eye, I grin up at her, catching her gaze and grinning "Wouldn't it be a shame if I was to kiss it off?" I'm never going to stop flirting with her am I?


	12. Chapter 12

_Soooo…._

Its been a while, oops. But to be completely honest with you all nothings actually happened. Everything's just about the same as it was, 'cept my hands fixed. I still haven't stopped pointlessly flirting with a certain woman, I'm still a sex god genius with far too many women and too little time as she's still dating asshole of the year. I swear to god she had no taste in men, How on earth can you be in love with a man that looks like a bleached out rat? Come on Potts, I'm not exactly straight and even I know he is just not a stunner.

But here I go again, complaining about her…

… yeah well, if she can see what's infront of her then she just can't have it can she?

And she is obviously completely in love with that man. I don't understand women and how they can be in love with people that just don't make sense. He's my biggest business rival and I'm pretty certain that my pepper's being used to fuck company secrets and business plans out of. I bet even I could get her to talk with a little bit of convincing. Look, I'm not saying she's stupid, she's just a little bit more trusting that she probably should be. I don't know why she's like that, from what I gather from the little be she told me a few months ago she's pretty crappy at relationships.

I'm not that surprised, she's a pretty sporadic lady and I don't always quite know what mood she's in. Eh, guess it must make her interesting in the bedroom department.

Oh! And I have a rotten feeling that Rhodeys gotten himself a girlfriend too. Why is the rest of the world in a relationship! He's been really oddly distant and keeps actually going home rather than spending his evenings chilling here and beating my ass at just about all videogames (Yeah, don't tell him I confessed to that, he's actually kinda better at them than I am.)

Anyway, I was going to tell you about what happens when I don't have anything better to do wasn't I? Well, I spend my time seeing how much I can wind up Pepper. Usually it gets boring after the fifth time I get yelled at and she marches off looking like she's gonna scream or cry or both…so I do stop and leave her alone for a while.

But seems like there's been no other way to get her attention lately even than by rigging up buckets of water over office doors (Highly recommended, wet blouses equals a very nice view) and  _accidently_ getting every intern in the building to help me fill her office with balloons for no actual reason, and the I bought a violin (and earplugs for myself because I know for a fact I don't have a clue how to play it, so it pretty much sounds like a dying cat) and hired a dude with bagpipes to replace the awful lift music.

Problem is, she doesn't much seem to care. She's been shrugging most of it off and ignoring it! What do I have to do to make her take some notice of me rather than running off at 5pm sharp every night to him.

Speaking of assholes, he's been actually getting slightly more successful than I wanted him to, like I was saying earlier, I think some little gingers been accidently helping him out. Okay, so I know a 13% market share increase might not seem like a lot to anyone not in the know, but that's actually a bit of a problem, because that's percentage that should be Stark Industries. (See! I do actually know about business, and how to look after my own company, I just can't be bothered to do it when there's other people who can probably make a better and more successful job of it that I can. So I leave it to them and if I actually confessed to being able to run it i'll probably cost at least five people their jobs. So me shutting up keeps them employed, not bad logic is it?) And the problem is, I'm not quite sure how to get it back other than building a much bigger gun than the other guy and waving it at the US military until they take some notice of the fact that I exist.

That's the other thing I miss about her new complete ignorance of me is the fact that I don't really have anyone to talk to about shit like that, and the interns have been the ones bringing me coffee, intern coffee is gross, I don't know what they do to it but it's not nice. Maybe it's just amateur germs, or all that eyeliner and hair-bleach falling off into it.

Its kinda weird the stuff that I didn't realise she did until she's totally stopped doing it. I'm just waiting until she stops coming to work altogether. I don't really think I've had a discussion with her at all since I last moaned at you.

I actually miss pepper (and Rhodey too but that one I can kinda deal with, at least he still knows I exist!) Is this what all those dreadful romcoms were on about when they complained about ditching your BFFL for your new BF?

So, if this was a god awful movie, this would be the point at which I'd go and get myself a new lover in protest and flaunt them at my friend until they realised that they missed me too and then we'll both get dumped and end up together or some rubbish, but its not. And somehow I'm the single one! I have tried to date before, not that it went too well but I did attempt to.

For some reason, girls don't seem to actually be too interested in a billionaire for a boyfriend. Seems I'm alright for a night or two or maybe a night on the town, but not to take home to meet your mother? Is there seriously something so terrible about getting serious with Tony Stark?

Fucks sake.

I'm going out.

So, turns out that was actually a pretty bad idea.

What I mean by out is to the nearest nightclub so I can have far too much to drink and pull someone pretty then make a conquest of her. Problem is, there's someone else in my life who knows every single good hangout place I know and I've run into her. And it.

Usually I'd slip off and find somewhere else to hang out, but it's been so long I've actually started to get curious about her and that rat. I don't think she's realised I'm here, it's a pretty big place and she's completely distracted. Its not very often I've seen her out of her work clothes or in a massive ball gown, I've never actually see her on a date. She looks kind of pretty?

Okay, She looks rather incredible in such a short dress with boots up to nowhere and her hair down. He's a lucky bastard.

I bet you think I'm weird, leaning on this wall with a double glass of whiskey and ice whilst spying on the two of them. I am seriously starting to wonder if he owns anything that isn't a white suit. He's the only man that could actually make that look sleazier than it already is. I've got about a billion things going through my head about her and him any they're all disgusting, sometimes I wish my imagination wasn't quite so good at existing.

Seems like I'm doing nothing but complain today, but it'd not just that, I'm actually worried about her, and frustrated that she won't talk to me. Oh, and if she really is leaking company information to him then I'm going to have to give her the sack and that's the last thing I want to do. I always thought if she was gonna do something like this then there might at least be some good coming out of it in my direction! She could have done a bit of spying for me?

Actually that's not a bad idea, note to self, mention it to Obadiah.

I've been waiting for what seems like ages before Peppers nasty boyfriend slips off to do something, finally leaving he open for me to interrupt for a few minutes. She doesn't seem to notice me until I move to sit opposite her, taking up his position from moments earlier. From over her, I can kind of figure out why she didn't notice me.

"Didn't know you had legs like that Potts, Maybe I should get them trademarked to Stark like mine?" I suggest with a wry smile, watching her as she looks up in shock from her phone, seeming horrified to see me within five meters of her.

"Tony!"

"Evening?" My smile doesn't shift, despite how awkward she suddenly looks, cheeks starting to stain the lightest shade of pink. I haven't seen her face to face in a very long time, and she looks a lot more awake than she used to, the bags under her eyes have gone only to be replaced with bruises on her neck and lips. Its obvious someone got an amazing sex life and it certainly isn't me.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, still seeming like she's panicking a little.

"Public place isn't it? I was about to ask you what you and  _him_ the same question. How is dating my biggest business rival going?"

"None of your business." Pepper points out, suddenly going unnaturally cold, slipping her perfectly manicured hand around the glass on the table infront of her, picking it up.

Normally I'd laugh it off, or tease her, or ask her if she wants moving closer to the heater to defrost, but there's something just weird about the way she said that, like she means it. I never really thought my businessman instincts would kick in, and all humour in this situation would disappear like someone just hit me with a brick.

"Technically it is my business if you've been telling him anything to do with Stark Industries, Miss Potts." I retort, voice just as cold as hers.

"What makes you think that." She asks, stopping and catching my gaze, her anger apparent in her expression.

"The unexplained share increases in my specialist market? And the fact that you're not much good keeping your mouth shut." I point out without thinking it through.

I can tell I've offended her without her needing to say it, he anger is obvious just in her expression.

"Are you seriously accusing me of leaking company information to my Boyfriend?!" Pepper ask, voice rising a little, normally I'd back off at this point, but she's annoyed me and I've annoyed her and it's the first time we've spoken in weeks.

"Well, How else do you plan on explaining it Potts? Everyone knows you're unable to keep a secret in the first place, no doubt the attention you're getting from him comes at a cost, huh?"

"You just can't deal with the fact that I've actually found someone that isn't you can you?" She points out softly, her gaze on me still filled with just as much disgust as before.

_I'm just going to ignore that._

"What makes you think I care? I just care that you whoring yourself to another man doesn't cause my company problems." I retort in annoyance, still not quite remembering to think about what I'm saying to her.

"You're just jealous."

"Jealous of what?" I ask with a sharp laugh, not taking my gaze from hers: "I don't want you, You're just some girl from the typing pool who walked into my office at the right time. You'd be nothing without me Virginia."

The woman infront of me looks like I've just slapped her, somehow we've both ended up on our feet and I probably should have guess Peppers next move was going to be to throw the entire glass of red wine in her hand into my face. Everyone in the club seems to have noticed the two of us and seems to have stopped, staring in complete horror.

Seems they're more shocked than I am really, I've had that many women throwing things in my face that I don't have enough fingers and toes combined to count them all.

Pepper seems more shocked by what she's done than any of them, as does her boyfriend who seems to have come from nowhere to stand beside her, wrapping his arms around the ginger and pulling her to his chest, protecting her from me.

There's a couple more seconds of stunned silence before it speaks, giving me an almost painfully sympathetic look: "I think you should leave, don't you Tony?"

Me, being me, was already halfway to the door before his useless interjection. Obviously he was trying to blame the whole thing on me. And If Pepper's going to behave like that then fuck her.

I don't need her, she can go and work for him for all I care.

Tonight, I'm going to get drunk, party and make her life hell in the morning.


	13. Chapter 13

Here's a question, how would you classify hell? Because as much as I thought it was a good idea and one that I could pull off it actually didn't work, that night was probably the only night in the past two years when I haven't managed to pull! I tried, I swear, but maybe women can sense a desperate billionaire and would rather just spend all the night getting him to buy her drinks rather than actually delivering on anything.

I don't think I've ever actually given up on it and come home before midnight, I even scared JARVIS. Its pretty fucking annoying when even your own AI is completely shocked by the fact that you've come back to your own home! I hope that bitch is having a good night with him. I hope that something happens and she suddenly realises that he's an ass.

And so am I.

Fuck why did I tell her  _that?_

Normally, if it was anyone else at all I wouldn't care what i'd said, not in the slightest, but somehow she's managed to get in my head so badly that her expression just before she threw that at me is stuck in my mind. I know I'm the worlds biggest asshole but I didn't mean to go that far with her, not that I'm going to let her know that I'm not still smug and pretty damn proud of myself for getting one up on her so much that she reacted like a normal human for once.

I guess this pretty much marks the end of me having a hope in hell with her?

Wonder if she's got a sister or something? Or I could just mail order a bride, Or marry Stane, Or turn gay and frolic away with Rhodey through the tulips?

Wait.

Whats a tulip? Sounds like that weird vegetable pepper made mash out of last month...

* * *

Well, Its been a week since I complained to you about my life, and I don't really have anything to say about it, my life is pretty brilliant again.

Seems that somehow, the press didn't get hold of any information about what happened between me and the ginger, so nobody rammed a rocket up my ass in revenge for that. And my pulling power has returned, I don't think I can remember the last time that I managed three woman a night, seven days solid.

I don't care what she thinks, its not as if she's even spoken to me, I just wake up every morning to find my trash gone and Happy waiting in the lounge for me with coffee, a book and a sleepy expression. (Oh! Speaking of Hogan, I found out that he can actually read. Not to judge or anything but I was pretty certain that guys that have been punched in the head didn't really care much for words? But it turns out that he can not only read, but read classics? You know, those things that came after Shakespeare but before Harry Potter? Apparently they all have names like 'Emma' and 'Withered heights' and where written by men with names like 'Charles Dick-ends')

From what he's mentioned in passing, sounds like Peppers still herself at work, still running around in stupid shoes and shouting at people, apparently it even seems like she's been taking her job a little more seriously after our talk.

I suppose it got to her a bit? I don't know. I  _have_  to not care.

Probably why I've been having so much sex and spending every day down in R&D, We've actually come up with a few concepts that have some potential for the market. Seems my way of not having emotions is to make things explode in all different ways.

I'd go into detail about everything that's happened and everything that's going on in the science of the explosions but I have a feeling that I'd make you confused, even though you're sort of technically my own head? I think?

I don't care, you listen and don't comment, most people don't shut up or need it explaining about ten times, like the new kids in the department. One of them is Scottish and the others English, she's cute, he's kind of annoying but I don't think they're anything more than about 12? I think Peppers invited them on some schools internship rubbish? They'll probably make pretty awesome scientists once they grown some body-hair.

Oh yeah, and we've got some expert in Gamma radiation visiting tomorrow? I can't remember his name but he seems pretty cool? He's doing research into something or other that could change the world, I think its related to the super solider serum that dad mentioned to me as a kid.

Anyway, what was I supposed to tell you about? Uh. Yeah, my life's pretty okay, and I'm off out tonight with Rhodes to celebrate the fact he just got dumped, whoops. (I didn't have a hand in that. Nope.)

I'll try and pull a chick that isn't ginger tonight.

I don't really want to think about my least favourite woman in the world.

Also, note to self, find out if she actually has been stealing information from SI...

* * *

I think I'm either drunk, dreaming or someone slipped me something.

I pulled, of course, there where three beautiful blondes on my arm when I came home and dragged them all into my bedroom. What most people don't quite realise is that I have two.

Okay, you probably did, I'm a billionaire with a mansion in Malibu. But the room that I drag my ladies to isn't the same one that I sleep in usually, unless I collapse and can't be bothered to move. The room I take them to is a little too huge, open plan and white carpets, with the biggest bed I could buy. My own rooms actually down the hall, and I usually slip off there once i've had my fun and fall asleep. Its not like I don't like the girls I brought home, or that they're not gorgeous. But there's a difference between sleeping with people and  _sleeping_ with them, and I've never been that intimate with any woman.

But anyway, back to the point, once i'd finished them all off, I slipped away to head to my own room, and almost fell over a pair of shoes that someone had abandoned in the hall. Stilettos like that are stupidly painful at three am! I don't understand why women wear them.

They didn't really bother me, nor did the abandoned empty whiskey bottles ditched outside the door to my room, that was probably me, I do things like that.

Shoving it open, I yawned, still minus anything from my earlier adventures and collapsed onto the bed.

Thats when I realised I was probably going crazy.

There was someone else in my bed. Someone warm and soft and naked and that smelt like a fruit salad.

Okay, the reaction to that probably should have been to pull up the lights and push her onto her back, because there was only one reason she could be there and I could quite easily enjoy myself a little with someone new.

But this room didn't even look like a bedroom from the outside, it looked like a section of the wall that was slightly the wrong colour. Nobody would know it was even there unless I told them or they leant too hard on a certain part of the wall and even then JARVIS would need to unlock the door.

And the only people that knew how to do that where me, Pepper and Rhodey.

And that woman, is not James.

"JARVIS," I muttered, knelt on the sheets and trying to figure out who the hell she was through the darkens: "Lights at 23% and keep quiet...!"

Obviously, I could have just asked him who my new bed partner was, but as the room was lit up softly, casting light across her cheeks.

Oh fuck.

Fuck.

_Fuck!_

Its Pepper.

Pepper Potts, My pepper pot is naked and smiling up at me from the pillows, hair spilling out across the pillow in messy curls and her gaze roaming hungrily across my body as she noticed it. I feel like i'm being inspected from all angles by the most gorgeous angel i've ever seen.

I don't think this can even be real. She hates me, remember? Or do I hate her? I can't remember...

I think my mouths probably hanging open because she's giggling and rubbing her bloodshot eyes, upsetting her make-up even more. Whatever she's done, her mascaras running everywhere, eye-liner smudged and her usual red lipstick smeared across her mouth.

But I can't concentrate on it, she's pulling herself up, sheets slipping off and reviling her naked body to me, i've dreamt about it for years, but she's even more beautiful in real life, pert and soft and perfect and I want her. My bodys reacting faster than my head is and my brains seriously starting to loose the battle as suddenly she presses a hand to my cheek, trailing her soft fingertips down the skin. I've never seen that smile before and I know its for me.

"You where gone a long time..." She purrs, voice slipping a little from drowsyness or something as she keeps her gaze on me, biting her lip underneath the messy face mask.

"I was out?" I suggest unhelpfully, i'm not even quite sure she wanted an answer to that.

Because she's kicked the sheets off completely and her hand is slipping down my neck, making me want to make a noise as she shows her body to me. She is amazing, more than she ever has been in a dream or a fantasy and I can't look away. She's beautiful, long legs and a perfect figure, hips and ass and breasts and every part in-between and I can't believe it.

Seems my imagination underestimated this by a million miles.

This is wrong, my head screaming that its wrong and that my hands shouldn't be going for her hips, and that I shouldn't be so aroused by the sight of her.

Peppers not mine, she's with him and she looks so ready to let me take her.

But she isn't like this.

Virginia is the most loyal woman I have ever met and I feel as though she's about to cheat on that rat of a boyfriend of hers with me.

What the hell am I supposed to do?  _I want her._  I want every inch and every last drop of this incredible woman pressed up against me and all over me and all mine. I can't push her off, I can't even do anything to stop her as she crawls over me, straddling my naked hips without a word, pushing her heat against me. I can feel her, She's so warm and so perfect. I've never been awed by any woman before, usually I can't get their hands off me.

Most of the time, i'd only stay this still for a lap-dancer, but Peppers somehow frozen me as her arms slip around my neck, burying themselves in my hair as she presses her body against mine. I can feel every curve, ever last inch of her breasts pushed against my chest as she giggles, the same light noise as before.

I wonder how this feels to her... I wonder if she's ever thought about me naked or what it would be like to do this? I can't convince myself this is a dream because she's too real, too soft and warm and my own hand is gripping her hip, the other trailing into her hair as we both collapse into the pillows, her gaze still bearing down into mine as I suddenly realise whats not quite right about this.

She  _stinks._

And not in a good way, like the last alcoholic at the bar at the end of the night that has to be carried out to throw up in the streets. (No that's not normally me, I heard that thought.)

But it seems like any thought it just had about how this isn't a good idea has moved out to live in Alaska because she's pressed her lips, taking advantage of my dumb-ass expression to slip her tongue between my lips, her eyes closing suddenly.

Its amazing, its the most amazing feeling despite how much she's slipping off by mistake and how terrible she tastes. Seems like I just discovered who's downed both bottles I found by the door.

This is  _wrong,_  this is so very wrong that I've just sobered up almost completely. But I don't want her to stop. I don't want to push her back and make her let go.

I want this woman more than i've wanted anything and if I loose myself to her kiss i'm going to loose control and take her as my own.

But she's not mine she's his. She's someone elses girlfriend.

But she's in my bed, naked and I can feel her heat pressing against my cock. Pepper wants me back, or at least her body seems to do?

But she's not mine.  _She's drunk._  And she's not supposed to want this from me.

Pepper should be crawling all over that rat rather than kissing me, and the longer I let her kiss me for the better its starting to feel, her hands pulling at the back of my hair as I run my own through her curls, messing them curiously below my fingertips. But she's still in my bed, she found her own way here and slipped in my bedroom, she made this happen. She planned it.

Is it my fault if I can't hold back now my dreams come true?

But she's my PA. I work with her, I have to spend almost every day of my life with her and if she hates me in the morning i'll lose my most important member of staff.

And its obvious she's been drinking and crying even to me, probably over him, so does that just make me rebound?

Am I about to become Pepper Potts trash?

_Fuck._

What am I supposed to do?

_Help!?_


	14. Chapter 14 (NSFW)

**A/N:** This chapter is defiantly unsuitable to be read at work or in public, and it totally unstable for anyone underage who's been reading this story! Its Tony Stark, so it's as crude and rude as you'd expect... I hope you enjoy this, I'd love to hear your reactions!

* * *

So, what if I lose this battle?

And, what if my own eyes are closing as I cut off the part of my brain that's telling me not to do this?

Peppers warmth against me is amazing, she's not a woman I would ever have even considered could make me feel like this, this is stupid. I thought all I'd want to do is shove her onto her back and bury my cock deep into her slick cunt as she cried underneath me, hands wrapped in the sheets and calling my name as she begged me for more. I thought all I'd want to do is use her to pleasure myself like I do most women.

Of course, I know the logic of foreplay and I know how it should work and what to do, but i've never really attempted it (sober) until right now. All I want to do is ravish her body with my mouth and tongue and try all those things you learn in a good porn movie. But Peppers sat on top of me, her hands slipping down from in my hair to my chest, she seems to be just as curious as I am as she trails a hand down my chest, pinching both nipples at once, making my hips jerk up into her body. Naturally, I take her touch as a cue to explore her body, my own hand slipping down her neck, leaning in and pressing my mouth against it as I reach for her breasts, taking one in each hand to massage them gently. The noise she makes is amazing, whimpering as her back arches against my hands.

Gently, I keep toying with her, smiling slightly at the reactions and starting to relax, certain that i'm not the only one who wants this. Curiously, I wrap my own thumb and fingertip around each of her pert nubs of skin, pulling slightly as I gaze at her. The lust in her eyes suddenly increases ten times over, my name slipping from her lips as I try it again.

I haven't had a woman who actually reacts to having her breasts touched in a long time, and Pepper seems to be collapsing into my hands from it, her legs shuddering a little. I wonder if she's ever imagined me doing this? Wonder if she's ever considered what i'd look like naked on top of her?

It seems as though our bodies are thinking the same thing as she pulls me over, landing underneath me with a blush and a giggle, hair a mess again and our legs still tangled together. It seems as though she's slightly more sober than she was only a few minutes ago, her kissing is improving and she seems almost to know its me. I should probably be a lot more worried about this, I mean, Its Pepper. Its my little innocent PA and she's naked and wet and a surprisingly good kisser.

Finally, reluctantly I have to separate our lips again, barely breaking the connection as I kiss down her neck, hands still massaging her breasts gently. Pepper seems to have realised what I'm about to do even before I have, whimpering softly as her hands are wrapped in my hair, pulling slightly as I take one of her pert nipples into my mouth, tracing my tongue gently across the tip.

I still don't quite know how to do this, (and I can't believe I just confessed that to you.) I'm just measuring it from the noise she's making as I start to suck slightly, my other hand still toying with her free breast, tugging on it slightly. I don't know if she always makes this much noise, but it's just making me want her even more than I did before. There's a difference between the sound a woman makes when you're having sex and what she makes when she wants you with every inch of her. And Peppers somewhere off the scale that I know about.

I hope I'm doing this right?

I don't really think it's a good idea to try and interrupt her and ask, neither of us has said a single thing since she kissed me. Her hips are arching and her legs shifting as she curls her hands in the sheets, eyes closed as I switch, catching a glance between her legs. I've never really wanted to touch that part of any woman, It's icky and weird and where pee comes from. But anyway, there's something different going on because tonight, for the first time ever, I want to try it. (God knows why. I'm probably going to regret this later, or want to brush my teeth with soap) But I really want to know what my gorgeous PA tastes like all over. Her eyes go wide as I shift my kisses, running my mouth down her stomach, kissing and licking every inch of her toned muscles (Obviously all those yoga lessons she complains about do something. She's got a better figure than some of the models I've had in my bed)

I've seriously never seen a woman with a nicer lower half, her hips and her legs are so perfectly formed and beautiful, I just want to stare at her for a while. Well, a few more seconds before I can't help but bend down to press my lips against her cunt.

It really doesn't taste good, (It's vile to be totally honest, even worse than the one time that I accidentally kissed Rhodey) she's damp and soft but pushed up hungrily against me as she moans my name, desperately reaching down to grab for my hair, her expression seems stunned at what I'm doing to her. Pepper's reaction is making the entire thing worth it, shuddering at the feeling as I shift my mouth down a little, gently slipping her folds apart to run my tongue against her clit (at least I think that's what it is?) making her almost scream in surprise at the touch. I've got the strangest feeling that she's never felt this before. And I've still got no idea what I'm doing down here, there's only so much that porn teaches you about sex and for some reason those women seem to cum from this in about three seconds. Peppers body isn't quite that agreeable and she's grabbed the back of my hair to force me to move, obviously showing me what she wants without saying it. (I can't actually imagine her even saying cunt, or fuck me, or sex, or I should stop thinking and start concentrating because she's whimpering….)

My touch on her is messy and hungry as she starts to liquidize in my mouth, white liquid dripping down my lips as she cries my name, giving in all hope of grabbing for my hair and fisting the pillows above her head. Peppers eyes are wide and she's panting heavily as I pull away to glance up into her eyes, her mess falling down my mouth as she reaches for me, entire body shuddering as she tries to touch me. My own eyes close for a moment as I rest my forehead against her stomach, panting with her, she's actually a really comfy pillow.

I think Peppers as shocked as I am by what's going on, I never thought we'd get to this, and its weird. I always thought sex was just sex but this seems to be the soppy sort of ' _making love'_  you get in a romcoms.

I guess there's no going back now; because my entire body is aching and desperate for her. I've been kinda too busy thinking about her to realise…uh…yeah. That.

Her legs are still spread and seeping liquid, she's probably be ashamed of herself if she could see herself. But Pepper looks so beautiful like this...Well, technically she looks like a dirty little porn star in a way but she looks like the most perfect and stunning woman in the entire universe in another but I still want to ruin her.

There's really not a romantic way of saying that I want to fuck her is there? Well its true, I do.

And she seems to want me to, her hands reaching up to run through my hair, lips pressed against mine so exactly that she must know what she wants. I think she might be sober? Maybe? But I kinda forget to ask or think because she's wrapped both of her legs around my waist suddenly and she's pulling me down into her grip, rocking against me.

"Tony…." The woman muttered to me softly, leaning up to whisper into my ear, biting it sharply: "Tony please….please…!"

Her voice was so thick with lust and want I couldn't really refuse, could I? And no matter what my head is telling me I'm going to take her. It's the first time she's spoke since this started and she's not telling me to get off or screaming at me… or trying to kill me. Or report me to the police.

I still can't work out what I've done to deserve this.

Eyes closing slightly I whisper back, letting her rest her head on the crook of my neck as I push her hips down, rubbing my hardened cock through her dirt, making her cry in pleasure: "Want what… Virginia?"

What? I'm still Tony Stark! She can't just have things without telling me what she wants! (And I'm enjoying the moment! And I know her real name, I just don't use it much, sounds a bit like Virgin and she's defiantly not one of those…)

"F-fuck me…" She whines desperately, gazing at me: "…T-tony….Tony…Mr Stark… Please…"

She really shouldn't call me that.

Somehow, Peppers shifted so much whilst I've been thinking about her words that she's taken the tip of my cock between her legs without me realising until I can feel her.

She's always really the boss no matter what we do isn't she?

I can't think of a way to complain or a reason to because…

Well…

We're fucking…

And it feels incredible.

Okay, so I could treat you to a really long description about her cunt and how tight and dirty and messy what we're about to do is, but I think you can guess what happened once I'd pinned her hips down onto the bed and started to thrust, hands above her head and her own gripping my wrists tightly, trying to support herself as I try and keep some sort of rhythm inside her body. Pepper screaming and moaning and crying my name in desperation as she tries to make me go faster, trying to push me onwards.

I want to, god I want to just pin her and fuck her until she's screaming my name and coated in her own cum and mine. But for some reason, don't know why, don't ask, I think I'm trying to turn myself into a real sex god or something but I can't help but savoir the moment, moving with her, eyes closed as I try and make the moment last.

And it sort of does, until she's cum for the first time, shuddering and moaning under me in some half desperation.

And whatever impression of Hugh Hefner (without the wrinkles) I was attempting to do seemed to disappear in about three seconds flat.

And I'm really going to stop describing things right now because I'm not going to tell you anything about it.

It's a secret.

And there's not enough sordid words in the dictionary and on the internet to describe what happened to break the bed and cause us both to collapse in a heap of warmth and blankets and noise.

I think this is the first time I've actually decided to breath in about three hours, there's a naked, drowsy ginger woman collapsed on my chest and I'm still trying to work out what's happened to make her mine.

... _For now._

I actually feel sick just thinking about that. She's not mine is she?  _Is she?_

What if she is? What if she couldn't find the words to say it and she's just done the one thing I've always wanted her to do instead? What happens if Pepper Potts is still here in the morning?

And what if she isn't?

What if I've just fucked someone else's drunken horny girlfriend?

Did Pepper even know she was doing it?

What if she's been drugged or someone's set this up?

What if that's not even her?

No. That IS her. I know it's her.

That's Justin Hammers girlfriend.

Oh fuck.

_What have I done?!_

I don't think I've ever felt this disgusted with me over anything. It's not just sex. It's Pepper. Its my pretty, loyal, beautiful PA.

I shouldn't have touched her.

I should have shoved her off and asked what was wrong and what the hell she was doing in my bed.

_Too late now…_


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Thank you all for your support, for something that I started entirely on a whim without any plans I'm amazed at the popularity of it, hopefully you've all been enjoying the story of a very young Stark and an even younger ginger-woman. It's been over a year now since I started this and there's still even more story to tell. Thanks again, and if you want previews or samples of my other work, my roleplay/personal tumblr is[ rescudedinredandgold](http://rescuedinredandgold.tumblr.com/)_

_See you there!_

_Gingerfloss_

* * *

 

Apparently even google doesn't actually have the answer to what the correct thing to do is when you wake up next to someone else's girlfriend, to say I'm panicking is an understatement, I don't have a clue what to do right now.

Maybe this situation won't be quite as worrying when it's not five in the morning? Then I might actually be able to figure out which legs are supposed to be attached to me…

Peppers really pretty when she's asleep, she actually looks like she might not be due to extract my intestines through my nose in punishment in about four hours. I might just keep this image in my head when she's impaling me later, and yeah I know its vomit-making but I've done the whole tuck her in and correct her hair whilst she's asleep routine.

I kind of wish I could do this more?

Ew, she's giving me thoughts about long term relationship and she'd not even awake.

Hell, i shouldn't be. It's not going to make a difference if she kills me now or when I've had a few more hours sleep.

Okay.

So.

She's not even still here, she's gone.

I think I might have been used.

I know that sounds crazy coming from me but I think I might have been used by Pepper last night.

Its certainly starting to feel like that.

Because she's gone. She's done exactly the same thing to me that I usually do to women. And to be totally honest its not a nice feeling, it's kind of sickening to think that my beautiful PA, who knows how much I like her, came running after me just for sex? Seriously? I bet I sound selfish right, because she's probably actually just run away from me because she's embarrassed… I hope that's the reason.

And completely ignore that feeling, because, well come on, I'm Tony Stark!

Which is the same reason I'm going to give myself as to why I  _totally_  don't feel bad or worried about what happened last night, that was entirely her fault because she did it. She appeared here! I didn't even seduce her or buy her a drink and I most certainly didn't pay for her. So Pepper obviously decided this was a good idea.

Or the alcohol did, considering I've never seen her that drunk and I don't think I want to see it again. Ever.

Well, if she was that pissed then maybe she can't actually remember what happened. And then I don't have to try and explain myself to her. Maybe I can just tell her that she decided to strip and no I didn't sleep with her, why would I do that? She's ginger. Ew.

And before you say it, I know it's a dick thing to do and lying is bad and all that crap, and I hate her boyfriend, but I don't want Pepper hurt by something that's partly my fault. I know I don't want him to have her but I don't really want to be the reason they break up, because I can't really see me having a hope in hell of having pepper to myself if I do that. Its probably the best way to make her hate me.

I can feel you judging me through the internet.

It's been three days since that happened, and I haven't had someone cut my manhood off in the night, and Pepper is still working for Stark Industries. She hasn't mentioned what happened, so I'm hoping she hasn't realised.

Maybe she's just decided never to mention it? Or not to think about it?

I don't know, and I'm still trying to insist to myself that I don't actually care whilst I sit here and pretend to do my paperwork. Stane has finally decided to 'crack the whip' (those are his words, not mine, and no I didn't instantly imagine him in bondage gear and then want to throw up) on all the employees that don't pull their weight within the company. For some reason, that included me, and now I have to sit here and do paperwork by hand.

What is the point of having the most high tech computer systems in the world if I still have to sit here and fill things out with a pencil? (I'm not allowed a pen, apparently I make too many mistakes and spend too much time drawing dicks on the bottom of every page to be allowed something Potts can't remove with an eraser.)

I think I might die of boredom before I finish. I don't want to sit here and fill out paperwork, I want to talk to Pepper… surely there's a way to convince Obie that I need to talk to her? Why do I have a PA if I don't actually have a reason to irritate her on a daily basis? Maybe I should take more notice of my company…

Whenever she's feeling nice (so not very often) and wants to bribe me into talking to her about something she'll come down to the lab with coffee and food…

Think that would work on her? Cos Obie's just disappeared off to a meeting and left me here with the HB.

…Hang on…

I forgot to plan a _really_  important part of my plan, I don't actually know what she likes. That's probably a really crappy thing to tell you but I don't. I'm always the one that gets brought things, I've never actually fetched her coffee order before. I'm guessing it's probably something with a lot of cream and milk that doesn't have anything to do with strawberries, considering I distinctly remember something about them trying to kill her. And call it stereotyping but I'm pretty certain she eats chocolate cake? I've never met anyone that doesn't

At least that's sorted, now all I have to do is figure out a way to get her to speak to me without losing vital parts or getting yelled at. Getting past a hoard of zombies covered in fish oil in the nude would be easier than this.

Hopefully I'll make it out of there with my testicles…


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Sorry for the break! Its been a while, but here we go again. Poor Tony, maybe things might work out the way you want them to one day?

Enjoy! And as always, R&R!

Gingerfloss

Remember how I was freaking out that she was going to murder me about ten minutes ago, I think i've ended up in a worse situation!

She's crying.

Seriously, i'm not kidding about this, Peppers actually crying on my shoulder and i've got my arms around her so she doesn't collapse from all these tears. I don't have a clue what the hell to do.

Literally, I walked all the way up here, shoved the door open, opened my mouth and didn't even get a word out before I noticed she was doing a really convincing impression of a panda.

I didn't know my face was that offensive?

She noticed me seconds later and literally threw herself into my arms (I think I might have done the whole spread them to hug her thing, but I don't know have a clue)

If she'd been screaming and shouting i'd know what to do, but she's having emotions and they're just scary. I'm not even sure if its me that they're aimed at? Hopefully they're not? If they were wouldn't she be doing that whole girl thing where they try to punch you and cry on you at the same time?

I don't know what the hell to do.

I guess I could just stand here until she stops?

I think that what you're meant to do when you actually care about the woman that's sobbing on you.

Why can't women be emotional over just one thing? Why is it when they have feelings they decide to have about ten thousand different reasons for why they're crying and then feel the need to tell you every single one of those feelings and expect you to be able to do something about them? Pepper has just told me probably the longest list of excuses for crying I've ever heard, but there's only one I can actually remember her talking about.

Him.

Of course, I had to stand there and listen to her sobbing about him.

(I wonder if she's ever cried about me like this? I wonder if any woman has.)

Anyway, you know all about that horrible man she's been dating? Well she's now apparently changed her mind about and doesn't want to date him anymore but she's worried about what it'll do to the companies 'image' now that its been all over the media. Its probably the wrong thing to say that I want her not a perfectly shiny company image. (Come on, I deface it often enough, I don't think i've ever told anyone about the time I got drunk and changed the company's name to stark-naked industries, or the day the week after that I changed Hammer Tech's name on every single piece of paper we had with their logo on to Hammered Turds. It was actually quite funny until Pepper realised what i'd done and told Stane. I was Technologically grounded for a month.) But she hasn't even mentioned the night we spent together, so hopefully she doesn't remember it and isn't going to remove parts of my body with nail scissors?

Anyway, she doesn't want him, and apparently now she can't possibly tell him that because he's asked her to marry him and she hasn't given him an answer.

Women are really confusing. She could have just told him no and thrown her champagne in his face and marched off like she usually does when I ask really idiotic questions like that. (I think I've asked her to marry me about four times since last Christmas.) He'd probably get the hint and leave her alone. (Not that I ever do. But thats just me, and i'm just always like that no matter what you do to me. Also. She can't become Pepper Hammer, it means I have to stop calling her Peepee and that she'll sound like one of those really stupid kitchen tools I buy at 4am when i've had a whole bottle of vodka.)

I did offer to tell him for her but for some reason she'd prefer it if he didn't lose a limb or two in the process for daring to ask her? (I don't even know how to use a sword, so how the hell does she think I can do that? You can't exactly snark off an arm)

But there is one good thing about it. Pepper's actually going to get rid of him, and I'm sat here (not drinking) having an actual meal for the first time in ages and ignoring Stane as he attempts to tell me off in front of the rest of the board for disappearing earlier.

Sometimes I feel like I should just get a collar and lead attached so that he can drag me about on it and tie me to lampposts like a pet.

If I didn't feel like it would be cruel to fire him, I would. I would fire him on the spot and not look back. But apparently I'm not allowed to do that and the board would probably find a way to fire me, or punish me somehow.

I'm going to have to find a more interesting sandwich creation than ham, cheese, pickle, banana, salami, kale and sweetcorn tomorrow, this really doesn't taste that good. (Rhodey and I have a thing going on about who can make the weirdest sandwich and he's still winning) And its not really working as a distraction from baldy.

But maybe if Pepper does manage to get rid of him then I might have a chance, last night was surely a good enough hint that I like her? And that she likes me?

Not that I'm exactly proud of it, I don't think what I did counts as taking advantage? She wanted me just as much as i-

Okay, Tony. The last thing you need is an erection anywhere near Stane. Think about something else, like salad or paperwork or something reaaaaaally boring.

Come on self, when you've finished telling off time, you can go and ask pep how dumping an asshole went…

Stane managed to find enough way to whale on me that it took an hour for him to piss off again. If this was the medieval times, I would totally have his tongue cut out so that he couldn't talk at me.

Anyway, Pepper seems to have vanished out of her office so hopefully she's gone to find that arrogant man to get him out of her life finally.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Don't kill me… Someone suggested that I attempt to write a sit-com script using the same ideas as this story uses, what do you all think? Would you watch it?_

_Drop a request into gingerfloss-writes-things on tumblr for a drabble as a thankyou for reading this!_

_((And thankyou to whoever pointed out the formatting disaster that happened the first time i attempted to publish this. i have no idea what happened!))_

_Enjoy!_

_Gingerfloss_

* * *

**_Okay._ **

I hate newspapers, I seriously do. I never mess about reading them unless I actually have to, or it something interesting to do with me, or page three girls (Discovered those in some really awful English newspaper a few years ago, think it was called the rain or something, don't remember). So normally I take no notice of it when Hap throws it over into the back seat on a morning after picking me up from wherever I crashed.

This morning, I really wish I hadn't looked.

But the thing smacked me in the head. Swearing, I grabbed it off the floor and turned it over, not really wanting to look at whoever the footballer player plastered across the back page was.

" _Boss,_  I wouldn-" I heard Happy starting from the front, having caught sight of what I was doing in the mirror, frowning at me harder than usual through it.

_I wish I'd listened to him._

Because the sight that met my eyes plastered across the front of the dammed thing made me swear again, almost dropping it.  **Pepper Potts and Justin Hammer announce their engagement.**

* * *

I can't remember the last time that I couldn't think. Or function. Or really anything.

I'm not even angry.

I can't actually convince myself that I'm angry at her.

I thought she was just sleeping when she didn't come and wake me up this morning.

I mean, she was so set on getting rid of the asshole yesterday, she even cried on  _me_ about it! Surely that means something?!

I don't even know what I'm going to do about looking at her, that seems like it's going to be almost impossible just like everything else at the moment.

* * *

How can she do this to me? She can't marry him.

It might just be bullshit. It might just be the press winding everyone up because she'd dumped him.

But it doesn't seem like that when I see all the shit about them plastered across every page, and the chatter and the smiles on the women's lips at work. I don't think I've ever run through the building that fast, slammed the door closed on them all and just sat there. Behind it. On the floor like some stupidly broken hearted teenage girl in the school toilets.

I've been sat here for the past hour, just staring at the wall. I must look so fucking stupid to whoever's on the security cameras, there's one glaring right down on the top of my head.

* * *

So its been three hours, and I'm still sat on the floor, but I  _might_  have dismantled that camera. I don't want anyone to see this, I don't want to feel like this.

I don't even know what this feeling is!

It's like someone pulled out my feelings and ate them. I want to do something, I want to be angry and upset or just something. Or be drunk off my face and it not really matter how I feel.

This is emotional bullshit and I'm drowning in it like some tsunami.

I hate this.

And I hate  _her._

* * *

"You're in  _love_."

" _Fuck off_."

"Seriously, its obvious Tony, you're  _in love_  with her."

"Am not."

"You are."

"Not."

"Man, you a-"

"-Say that again and I'll shoot you with this." I almost growled, downing the last of the whiskey and holding up the nineteen calibre I'd been modifying since he arrived and waving it around for dramatic effect. Rhodey just sighed and reached for the bottle, refilling both glasses and ignoring my half-assed threat, JARVIS called him for me after the fourth hour of wall glaring and he came armed with booze.

"Maybe you should  _talk_ to her about it?" He suggested airily, offering the glass back.

"No."

"There's probably a reason she's marrying him…"

"I don't care." I snap back, taking the glass and downing it again. Maybe if I drink enough I'll stop feeling like I should be saying yes to his stupid suggestions.

James is eyeing me over the top of his glass again, the same way he's done since we first met when he's contemplating my face, or whatever I said, or the really hot chick behind me: "Peppers not the kind of person to decide to marry someone on a whim… he's your business rival, right?"

"Mhm." I wasn't really listening to him, too busy with the weapon in my hands, maybe if I got close enough to hammer I could shoot him through with it and end all these weird feelings.

"Maybe its got something to do with that?"

"She's doing it cos  _she loves him_ , that why." I grumbled, stabbing the screwdriver into the mechanics almost too hard, breaking something.

"She told you that?" Rhodey asked, sipping at the whiskey and still looking at me the same way (I think he's in the wrong profession, he would have made a brilliant detective, he's got the look down).

" **No**." I'm going to have to tell someone why I'm so pissed off about this, might as well be him: "She was crying on me yesterday because he asked her to marry him."

He looked so confused that I spent the next ten minutes explaining everything that had happened (expect that bit, I know what you're thinking about, but there's no way I'm saying that to anyone, I'll get the shit for it.)

If I'd have actually thought about it when he'd first said it, I'd probably have realised he wasn't that wrong (I hope) about what he said earlier, after what she said to me last night anyway, about her not wanting to make me look bad. I think that's what he was getting? I don't understand. If she doesn't like him, like I'm pretty certain she told me she didn't, why did she have to…

I am NEVER going to be re-incarnated as a woman, they're just  _weird._

"So Peppers seriously marrying a man she doesn't even like?" He asked when I'd finished my over-dramatic rant (with a few added hand signals): "After freaking out that she's going to make  _you_  look bad by saying no?"

I nodded, looking annoyed: "Its…its just not like her. She's always so clever and this seems like the stupidest thing she could ever do…"

Rhodey sighed, his gaze still hadn't moved from earlier: "Maybe she's trying to do it for a reason? Marrying your biggest business rival is probably not a bad plan in her mind, it means that you two would have a reason to learn to work together… or he's trying to marry her to steal the only thing that's keeping Stark Industries together so that your company will collapse."

His last few words almost made me gag in horror, only just managing to keep hold of the whiskey glass, staring at him as he sighed again, leaning on his hand: "You hadn't thought about that had you?"


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Here you go again! I can't get Stark to shut up until I write this~_

_Also, because I think time that I shared this….._

8 tracks com/ gingerfloss/ its-a-side-effect-of-the-whiskey ((Take out the spaces and stick the dot back in :P))

_Enjoy!_

_Gingerfloss x_

* * *

I don't remember what else Rhodey said, those last few words had ended up getting caught in my head. I know Peppers clever, and beautiful, and all that stuff, but she seems so wrapped up in him that I don't even know if she's thought about the fact he might be using her? Right? Or am I just trying to find a way to explain this that doesn't involve her actually willingly marrying him?

Ugh.

I want to just be selfish and sulk and behave like a total asshole about the entire thing because she'd pissed me off by doing it but I can't. I'm not even sure if Peppers thought about it the other way around, I guess me and her are both just stubborn. If she thinks she's doing the right thing, then she'll do it. Its how she managed to become my PA without needed to work her way up through the company.

It's been five days, and I've spent every single one in this workshop away from everyone else.

I found out about her stupid wedding on Monday and she'd marrying him this Saturday, I don't even know what I've spend the last few days doing. But I'm going to have to do something before its too late.

I don't want her near him, I don't even want to think about it. I don't want to see her in a wedding dress handing her heart to him, I don't want to see Pepper near any other man but  **me.**

It sounds crazy, but what Rhodey said about  _loving her_  is bothering me almost more than the thought that she'll become a Mrs in less than 24 hours. I've never really felt much towards anyone, I've always presumed that the way I feel about my friends in the way I should feel about them, and the desire to rip off clothes and bite and fuck and touch is love, or at least lust. I don't know what to do with this weird need to hurt everything that hurts her, and save her from everything in the world that could ever do her harm, whilst screwing her senseless and wrapping my surname around her name like a shield to keep her safe.

In the past few months, I've punched a guy for her, not slept with her, slept with her and held her when she's cried and probably spend every second thought in my head on her and its concerning. I can't exactly ask anyone about these feelings and I don't really want to know, its gross and sappy and not what I thought was going to come crashing down on my head.

My life is supposed to be about me, Its whiskey, sex, sports cars and experiments, its about doing what I want, when I want to. It's not supposed to be about anyone else or have anyone else in it.

I'm not supposed to be pacing my lab wondering how to  _crash her wedding_  tomorrow.

Its disgusting and worrying but I've got the creepy feeling that Rhodeys right, what if I have fallen in love with her?

If I said I don't want to be in love with her it would be an ever bigger lie than the fact that my dick is 9 inches long.

According to everything I've ever seen, all those stupid books and movies and stories from the TV you're supposed to fight for whatever it is you fall for (unless its star wars and she's your sister cos that's really icky). So if this was a book, one of those really vile ones in a pink cover, I'll find out exactly the time and date of her wedding and march in and proclaim my undying love for her in front of the entire church and, if its anything like Mamma Mia, she'll marry me on the spot in the middle of a massive song and dance number.

Thats not going to happen, my life is not and never going to be an episode of glee.

And there's no way that I'm going to proclaim my undying love for her.

She won't believe me even if I do.

I'm going to crash my Peppers wedding and drag her away from that man if it's the last thing I do.

* * *

Crashing a wedding sounds so easy in the books, and in my own head, but its turning out to be a massive dick to try and do. For some reason, she didn't decide to invite me, and I can't exactly ask Rhodey or Happy to just tell me whats going on.

Mainly because they'll figure out what I'm up to and tease the shit out of me for it.

So JARVIS is hacking everything in sight and I'm trying to help as much as I can by investigating the staff accounts, unfortunately for them, I managed to hack them all in three minutes flat without using proper decoding software. I really need to start warning them about protecting stuff.

I can imagine this taking all night.

But she's worth it, even if she'd probably going to hate me for it…


	19. Chapter 19

I was right, it took all night, half a bottle of whiskey and a pizza to work it out but I've found her, she's getting married in some stupidly overpriced hotel on 43rd and seems to be planning on a 'secret' wedding that barley any actual guests are going to, but it seems like that bastard that thinks he's about to marry her has invited every single member of the press he could think of to what was dubbed by one of the papers I was reading this morning a 'Whirlwind' romance. I know its weird, but part of me is pissed that she didn't invite me….but I bet that wasn't her decision.

I've probably been thinking about it too much, but it seems like none of the stuff I've discovered about the wedding was her idea, I've never really thought she'd want any of the press there, or a 'secret' wedding. She doesn't even seem to have invited anyone from work that she's friends with, or her own parents.

Or even to get married a week after being proposed to when she didn't even want to marry the guy that asked!

She's either changed too much, or he's manipulating her too much.

Or maybe I'm thinking too much, but I've always thought she'd want more of a princess affair, massive gown and flowers and castles and the lot, with everyone from work and her family and a lot more….well...me.

Anyway, My PA's wedding seems to be the only thing the morning press want to talk about.

I only discovered that after marching out of my hiding place this morning and stealing Stanes newspaper whilst he was looking at me like I was a zombie or some other horrible creature from the dead.

"What?" I asked, stealing his toast for good measure and sitting on the edge of the couch, pretending not to be reading the disgusting article in the paper that seemed to have been written by a lovesick preteen.

"You're awake."

"Mhm? Ran out of food, Dum.e managed to run over the bread." I lied through the mouthful, trying to behave like my usual, asshole self: "Going somewhere?" I couldn't help but pretend to be curious; flapping the crust in the direction of the suit he was wearing.

"Miss Potts wedding?" He pointed out, seeming to think I knew what he was talking about as I flipped the paper over to the sport section, still demolishing the stolen food: "You're not going, Anthony?"

I laughed, despite the fact that he'd just done of the few things I really want to punch him for: "Pfft, no. Not invited, don't care." Shoving the last of the toast in my mouth I stretched: "he can have her."

Obie seemed surprised by my reaction, I think he'd been expecting me to be sulking at least, but he didn't question it. He'd given up trying to predict my reactions to stuff when I was a kid, most of the time I'd react the way I shouldn't just to piss him off.

The conversation turned to the usual telling me off for not doing the paperwork rant, and the other things he complains at me about at 10am on a Saturday. Luckily, he didn't bother to question it when I got bored half an hour in and wondered away downstairs again. She's getting married at about 12:30 so I need about an hour to walk over there and time to screw about.

Yeah, I've planned it. So what?

Also, before you mention it, no, I'm not wearing a suit. I, the great and god-dammed sexy Tony Stark can't exactly parade thought the streets of anywhere looking decent without getting jumped, which is the only reason that I've pulled out the tracksuit and baseball cap again from the bottom of the wardrobe and look kinda homeless (which is surprisingly easy, maybe i've just done too many late night run aways for pizza and booze.)

I really don't walk that often, I know that's probably not a surprise but it's weird for me, I'm trying to navigate Saturday morning people-traffic and its almost annoying, especially when you can't actually look up or stop. I'm still not sure I'm doing the right thing, but marrying him is a worse idea than me crashing her wedding, right?

At least if I stop her now she won't have to get a divorce later? I'm saving her paperwork! (Although, I'm probably gonna cause an almighty scandal by marching in there and saying no…)

There's still a chance…. And I don't want to think about it even being a possibility that she'll still do it…that she might tell me to go and still do it…

I don't know what I'll do if she does that… sulk, probably. Sulk and get drunk and make things explode.

For some cruel reason, it only takes me the hour that I'd planned on to find the hotel, and almost walk headlong into the wedding party.

Almost into Her.

She looks amazing.

That's probably an understatement; but I don't have any more words to describe her, she looks like something out of a stupid fairy tale. I could probably march up to her right now and talk her out of this stupid affair, but its like I've been glued to the floor, just staring at Pepper in a white dress almost looking like she wanted to be there. I'm pretty glad there's a wall behind me because I need something to lean against or I'll probably fall over.

I can't help but sit here and watch her, rearranging the meringue (I would never have picked that for her) she's wearing, pulling the lace veil down over her head and taking decidedly no notice of the bridesmaids around her who seem to be completely useless, I don't even know how they are. She really does look stunning like that, It not something I've ever imagined seeing her in even in my weirdest thoughts, but its enough to make any man jealous.

She probably wouldn't even have noticed me sat there if she hadn't dropped her bouquet, I dunno if it was out of nerves or to see if anyone would help her, but I'm betting you can guess what I did.

Yeah, that. That really stupidly bad idea that any sane person that didn't want to ruin their own disguised wouldn't have done. I moved to pick it up, almost exactly the same time she did.

I wish I hadn't, because the moment I felt her fingertips against mine, I knew the entire, carefully(ish) constructed plan had just gone out of the window. Technically, I could have kept my head down and not looked up, not made almost instantaneous eye contact with her as we both moved to stand up.

She really is beautiful, even with that stupid veil across her face.

Pepper almost dropped the flowers again in horror at the sight of me, at least I think it was horror , might have been surprise, or hatred. I can't tell what she'd thinking. Anyway, she didn't say anything. Just looked at me.

I've never seen anything with an expression like she was wearing before, I can't even describe it, it was like seeing an elephant suddenly start doing ballet in the zoo.

The three women around her where just looking aswell, probably completely confused by what was going on in front of them, I doubt any of them even recognise me. But I knew my PA did, she had an unfortunate knack for being able to see through just about anything I ever did.

Finally, for some reason even I don't quite know, I was talking to her, taking no notice of the jaws of all three of her accomplices almost hitting the floor as I spoke.

"Don't do it." It was literally the only thing on my mind: "Please…" It had been the only thing there for weeks: "Pepper you can't marry him, he doesn't deserve you…" The plants hit the deck again as I reached for her hands, and strangely she didn't resist, just kept looking at me, that same expression across her lips: "Nobody deserves you… you're amazing and perfect and the most beautiful woman in the world, and I'm pretty certain there's nothing in the world you couldn't do and you're gonna change the world someday…" If I had emotions, which I don't, I swear, I would probably be pretty close to crying, that awful, burning feeling behind the eyes sort of crying: "…I don't know what I'd do without you anymore, you've been the only person that's ever stood up to me or told me no about anything… I'd probably have lost the company any my mind if it wasn't for you…and I don't want him… I don't really want anyone, to take you away from me…if that's not…" I stopped, breathing in and trying to think through my own feelings, her gaze hadn't moved from mine, but her expression had softened. For some reason, it helped: "..I mean, if you're sure you want to… I don't want to stop you being happy Pep but I can't let…nobody else is allowed to make you unhappy but me…. I don't want you to marry someone that wants you to change, you've changed so much since you met him and its not…not you… And I never want you to change for anyone else, I like you how you are…i…"

(Everything I've spouting probably seems like complete nonsense but I've never actually been that good with honesty, I've never had to be honest about how I feel about anyone, especially not someone that's stood outside her own wedding watching the tears on my face whilst I try and talk her out of marrying someone that's not me…I'm half expecting her husband-to-be to march down here and punch me.)

"..I…" The right thing to say right now should probably be I love you, and its what I want to say, but I don't. I've never actually said it to anyone; I don't even know if I can say the l-word to a woman without having an aneurism. I'll just say something else: "If its what you want just tell me and I'll go…" I muttered, starting to feel almost embarrassed, biting my lip slightly as I watched her for some kind of reaction: "…I just had to…ask….."

Pepper didn't say anything, just slipped her left hand free of mine and pulled up the fabric shrouding her face, flicking it back over her head and smiling at me slightly, her own cheeks where pink and trailed with tears: "You pick the worst times to be romantic." She pointed out, seemingly blissfully unaware of the incoming cameras and trouble, obviously word had gotten back to them that something was happening, I blame the bridesmaids.

I shrugged, pretending not to be relieved that she'd spoken and not slapped me or marched off to marry that man: "Well, You haven't tried to marry one of my business rivals before, or I'd have used this moment sooner?" I'm probably going to kick myself later for not saying the words that where on my mind, or for kissing her, or doing any of those other stupidly romantic things that you see in movies when the guy rescues his girl. But Pepper and Me, we're never going to be like that.

Pepper smiled, and glanced up at the hotel behind her, before back at me: "I thought you might try to stop me, I just hoped you might have tried it earlier in the week…"

"I have to uphold my reputation," I pointed out with a grin: "Biggest pain in the ass in the universe? I've never crashed a wedding before, thought it might be fun."

She sighed, one of her usual expression returning to her tearstained face: "We should go, before Justin sees you."

"I could just pu-"

"The press don't need a runaway bride and a massacre on the same day." Pepper pointed out sharply, but her lips where still curved into the smile from before.

"You're not marrying him?" I asked, probably with far too much glee as my grip on her hand tightened and we started to walk away, obviously Pepper was headed somewhere. (How she was walking in that stupid dress I don't know)

"No, Tony. I'm not."

"Could marry me instead?" I suggested, letting her lead me up the street and around the corner. She seemed to be resignedly avoiding the shocked looks on the faces of just about everyone we passed as they got out of the way.

She just laughed, it was almost sweet to hear her happy again. I'd been expecting an outright no for being rude enough to suggest it.


	20. Chapter 20

_ Epilogue _

So its been almost a month since I stole my girl away from her own wedding, the press backlash has been amazing, I think we've been headline new for almost a month, I had to pay off a cab driver more than he earns in a year to keep his mouth shut about rescuing us both from 44th street and I think I've made a lifelong enemy out of Hammer, but it doesn't really matter. Nothing really matter except the fact I've got my Pepper back.

I mean that by the way, she's nearly completely back to normal, bad-tempered, ginger, ponytailed and dragging me out of bed at 8:05am every single morning and trying to teach me to drink decaff (not working) and eat breakfast (partly working, mainly cold pizza). She's almost exactly the same as she was before  _he_  happened, but she's started smiling at me slightly more often, and almost stood up for me when Obie decided to tell me off for turning her wedding day into a disaster (mainly by blaming it on herself and looking like she was going to cry again when he tried to yell at her).

I suppose you could say that life is almost back to normal at Stark, I've got my 28th birthday to plan next month, some really pretty bunny from the playboy magazine visiting next Tuesday and Peppers marching around my lab trying to work out what I did with the paperwork that she gave me three hours ago.

I'm helping, by sitting her and watching her ass and occasionally suggesting places I didn't put it.

I still wish I'd been able to say it, maybe one day I'll actually manage to tell her that I love her, and maybe then it'll be me waiting at the other end of the aisle for my vision in white to let me take her hand.

Or I'll just steal her away to Vegas when we've both had too much away from everyone else.

So, I'm Tony Stark, and not so long ago, my life had better things to contain than worrying about my PA, like experiments and race-cars, science and playboy bunnies and my latest investment in a vineyard just outside of Spain. But in the past year, I learnt something crazy, there's nothing better in my life than a particularly hot-headed, Prada-heeled, crazily beautiful woman called Pepper Potts.

And I love her.

And, maybe,  _just maybe_ , she loves me too.

* * *

 

_A/N: I hope you've enjoyed this crazy journey that started out as a whim two years ago! Tony will be back soon in another story of his own design!_

_If you've enjoyed this tale, or hated it, or have any ideas for where you'd like to see these storys go next, please feel free to leave a review/share with your friends._

_Thankyou to every single one of my readers for sticking by this story whilst it's been created, It means a lot to know that you've still been reading it to the very end,_

_Thanks again, and see you all again in the future for more from the mind of Tony Stark,_

_Gingerfloss xx_


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